Pre Op, Pre Op My Baby

My surgery is officially 10 days away.

I had my pre op today, all things considered it went well.

Every other time we’ve gone the waiting room has been seriously empty.  Not this time, there were at least 4 other couples waiting and several that were slowly filtering out.  It’s hard not to people watch. My appointment was set for 2:50 pm, we sat in the room for just over a hour, I was able to read 2 people mags and play with every app on my phone in the midst of slyly glancing over to check out for lack of a better term “the competition”.   I can’t help wondering what other peoples issues are and at what stage of this whole process they are in.

To our left was a couple, looked like later 30’s, husband looked casual, wife looked totally annoyed. Her body language was terrible, she was turned completely away from him and had the most sour look.  Maybe they had bad news?  Maybe they’ve already been trying for years?
To our right a single woman, looked mid 20’s.  She was in and out pretty quick, I’d say she was there for blood work.

Directly behind us is an older couple.  They look like they came directly out of the 80’s, She a pastel floral dress with big shoulder pads, white Minnie mouse shoes, frizzy perm hair and He Mr. Rogers sweater vest cousin. We couldn’t tell if they were in their 50’s or just had aged terribly and were early 40’s?

On the counter where you sign in there is a candy jar and a sign that asks patients to please consider others at a sensitive time and please do not bring in children.

Right when I finish reading this sign, a woman walks in with a diaper bag.  She says “Is she back there, I have the baby.”  The receptionist gives her the ok, she opens the door and a man quickly whizzed by in a black blur with the stroller trying not to disturb anyone.

Time passes.  I notice that about 3 different couples, including Sour Puss, have come out with organza bags filled with a green blanket.  When we first came we were given a book, so I wondered if this was some kind of new give away.

The stroller couple comes out and I notice not one but two babies!  The stroller was front to back, not side by side.  I continue thinking about the sign, I wonder if it really disturbs people to see babies here.  I know it can be difficult with you want something so bad, but seeing those babies gave me a little (tangible) hope that this place is successful.

We were finally seen about 4 pm.
I had a physical complete with breast exam.  I don’t know why but this was totally awkward, probably because 1. I’ve never had a male doctor before and 2. I’ve never had Hubby go to ALL the Dr apts.  I wasn’t quite sure where to look, the ceiling seemed the safest.

Everything looks good.  He drew 4 marks on me, 1 in the belly button and 3 along my pelvic bone.  
We talked about blood loss (less than a table spoon) and how we refuse blood transfusions’.  It was a relief that he was familiar with Jehovah’s Witnesses and he said he practices all his surgeries bloodless.
He’s going to take pictures before and after, that’s a new one for a creepy scrapbook.  He plans to drain my tube, clip it and pull it out.  Worst case scenario would be that it’s attached to my bladder, intestines or another organ.  In that case he will detach it from the uterus and leave it in to not risk nicking anything else.  He won’t know until he’s in there but he feels very optimistic.  

Another contributing factor to this ongoing saga is male infertility.  Yea, that’s a thing.  Dr. Potter said we hit the infertility jackpot marrying each other.   So now we are 100% on track for IVF.
Hoping everything goes right, good healing and all to start a cycle in January.

Got a blood draw to check my thyroid levels and was given instructions for surgery day.

While we were checking out I asked my nurse about the green blankets.  She said once couples make it to the 10 week mark of pregnancy they have a little graduation, getting a blanket and are turned over to obstetrics.   I then told her about Sour Puss, come on lady you got a blanket, Smile!

I felt like the lady on Napoleon Dynamite that is giddy over Tupperware whispering “I want that”

I will get my green blanket.  Heck, I’ll take two.

Lab Worked Over

So Fridays lab work didn't turn out quite like I thought. I actually didn't have any blood drawn at all, this is why:

The PA that issued my lab orders failed to tell me my fasting glucose test was going to take 3 hours and that I needed to have a high carb diet for 3 days prior to the draw. (Yea I had a salad for dinner)

Seeing I had to go back to work I asked what else I could get out of the way so the trip wouldn't be a waste. Here's where it got hairy, the remaining hormone and infectious disease tests came up to $900 and they wanted payment up front. Turns out that Quest only takes payments for people who have been approved for financial aid.

I got a little angry at this point and wanted to see what the cost per test was. I also questioned why I had to do these infectious disease test anyway, I was basically told the state mandates it because they don't want any more children being born with HIV or Hepatitis. I both understand this and think its ridiculous, what about all the infected people who get pregnant every day? Can't control that. So the standard HIV test is $40 and then there's a secondary test that tells you what type you have for $400. This is what mad me really angry, I KNOW I have no STDs why on earth would I pay for this extra test??

I basically sat for a hour arguing with the lab on what I would and would not be paying for especially since it had to be up front. I finally got the cost down to $300 and wouldn't you know it my credit card got declined. I totally forgot we used it to buy hubby's flight to Canada.

Totally embarrassed I picked up a form for financial aid and cried the ugly cry in the parking lot.

The PA called and we worked out how to stagger the tests then I pulled myself together in time to walk into my office.

Now I'm back at the lab on Monday morning. I had my first draw done and drank the limeaid sugar water. Toward the end I wanted to gag. I have 2 more draws today, 4 tubes each. Can't. Wait.

Hi Ho Paleo

I decided to dive into the world of paleo eating.

 

A week or so ago I got on the topic of diet with a co worker and ending up telling her that my Dr had recommended going paleo. Excitedly she told me she'd been doing the diet for a few months and loved it. After talking about all our ailments, struggles and benefits of eating paleo she sent me a email full of blogs to follow and let me borrow her book.

Last night I cooked the last bag of pasta in my house. I've slowly been riding my house of carbs and grains as I'm reading the paleo diet book. Principles seem simple enough, no processed foods, dairy, carbs and sugars. If it comes from the earth/doesn't have a label it's A OK to eat baring a few things like legumes and starchy potatoes.

I have to do a little more research on sweet potatoes, starchy and yet a super food. I'm also not ready to give up my hummus! My absolute favorite snack with veggies. Ms. co worker said she had a paleo friendly hummus recipe; I'm leery but I'll give it a try before I knock it.

There's also the little matter of doing a 21 day sugar detox. While I totally see the benefit in this, I think I may just go bonkers giving up carbs, dairy and sugar in one shot. So hubby and I decided to cut the carbs first then move on to dairy and sugar. Also being in the middle of moving this is the best I can do.

After long debate on what to do about getting my blood tests done I decided to bite the bullet and go through with it, I scheduled a apt to be drained on Friday.  Quest Diagnostics will allow us to make payments...because by my count the lab request looks like 12 x $70.   When the results are in I'll be able to start a new prescription of metformin along with the paleo diet and see how my body likes it.  Apparently on this new dose if I even smell a carb I'll get really ill, hoping that will work as a nice deterrent.

From there, when we're ready we'll start booking the ultra sounds/xrays (somewhere around April/May) are really get this pony show on the road!

Counting down the days till we move, starting to pack this weekend and meeting with the painters tomorrow.

What's up Doc?

Here's the big update

The office was nice, intimate and private.
The first thing we were handed was our "hope" workbook and Dr. Potter's book "what to do when you can't get pregnant" I'm not sure if the title was some sick twist on what to expect when your expecting?  But I took it with stride and chose a seat thinking I cant believe I'm in this place.

We sat in the waiting room about 15 minutes. Long enough for hubby to fiddle with the high tech coffee maker and for me to flip through the book. To be honest I haven't even looked through our work book yet because I'm still in "sticker shock" but I'll get to that later.

Earlier in the day I stumbled on to Yelp reviews of the facility and the Dr I was about to see. I thought Yelp was only for food! There was some good bad and ugly, but for the most part I felt it made be better prepared. I chalk up the reviews to some people need to be coddled and sugar coated while others like myself want the more direct approach.

Dr Potter was the perfect amount of straight forward while still maintaining sensitivity.  He started out by asking for my medical history in my own words.  Of course in my own sarcastic way to defuse awkwardness I answered "I like sunsets and walks on the beach".  I got the desired chuckle and proceeded to run down my issues in 3 minutes or less.  He listened as he flipped through my records and made notes.  To my relief he told me that my old Dr Wood was on the right path by prescribing the metformin, that most Dr's are not comfortable dealing with my problem because they just didn't know enough about it.   I was really bummed out when Dr Wood retired and I got passed on to Dr Garcia.  I felt like Dr Garcia didn't really care to work with me, especially when I asked if my met could be increased and she looked at me like I was crazy.  And now Dr Potter is telling me that not only should it be increased, I need to be taking 3 times the amount.  He also shed some light on insulin resistance and how some cultures are more genetically predisposed to it.  He told me that I need to be on the Paleolithic diet, like a hunter/gatherer eating small animals (his words), green veggies, nuts and berries.  He also brought up that people didn't hoard the food they found all day till 5pm and sit down to a big feast, they ate as the went.  Eating wasn't easy, it was out of necessity.  He said if I worked really hard at this new diet, increased my exercise with my new meds the weight should fall off more easily.   I found this all very interesting.  He was so exuberant about it.

We talked a little more about our concerns.  And here is the bottom line. 
Can he get us pregnant?
Yes, he believes with in 3 IUI treatments we can have success.

Does he recommend IUI over IVF?
We won't be able to tell our direct path until we get all the blood work and tests back.  If its as simple as I just don't ovulate with no added issues IUI is definitely the way to go.  But if we find there's stacked issues we wont waste time and go straight to IVF.  Time will tell.

Do I have to drop 100 lbs before we start?
No, while I do have to lose some its not as drastic as I thought.  We can start as early as the next 2 months.  I need to get off my current meds so he can test my hormone levels and check out my liver before I start the new scrip.

He was very nice, I didn't feel like the brush off and no question was stupid.  It was really nice that he was familiar with everything I asked about and had a logical answer to everything.  So after the run down he wrote out all the details of what he wanted tested and when, then we got to sit with his assistant.  She gave us all the test prices and here is where the sticker shock comes in.

Tests include but are not limited to:
Ultrasound to check if my tubes are open  $243
Sonohysterogram (say that 5 times fast) to check my uterus and egg count $500
Mock Transfer (I don't know what this is) $145
Hormone Tests 5X $63
And now the state of CA is requiring infectious decease screening for $200 X2 for me and Hubs.
And then we have to get the guys counted for $220

Anybody have a calculator?  That's about $1900 out of pocket if I can't get insurance to pay for it. (remember I still have to choose a new insurance too)

And it's all so time sensitive, each thing happens on a specific cycle day.  The nurse was kind of pushing that we start in Feb.  But its just to soon.  It's so much to wrap my brain around, I've waited this long 2 more months are not going to kill me.

In the mean time its fun to go to restaurants and order "large animals with a side of carbs"

small update

I'm just going to put it out there that the appointment went well.  I really liked the dr. and its alot of information to absorb.  I'm just to mentally exhausted to write it all down.  Maybe tomorrow...

Dominos

I've maxed out my brain capacity; there are to many things whirling around upstairs. 
I'm going to write it out in a list because its the only way I can make sense of all the domino's.

1. Credit Issues
My sister's first name and my middle name are similar.  Our socials are also 2 digits apart. Resulting in our identity's via the credit bureaus getting crossed up.  Unfortunately she has a some not so bueno things showing up and it is now tanking my credit score.  We hired a company to get it straightened out and its going to take at minimum 30-45 days.

2. Finance
This whole credit issue is really jacking me up because now I can not get financed to put in carpet in the house. I've been getting denied left and right.  We're going to try it under Hubby's name only and see what it gets us. This is also distressing because we will have to finance the baby stuff. 

3. Work
My job location just shifted.  I knew all along that I was going to be working in a different office but I didnt anticipate things to change with in a few hours.  Its kind of hard to explain the whole scenario because I report to one person but have a dotted line to like 6 other departments.  So I came from our Brea office to our Chino office to train and cover for someone else and my supervisor decided it was a good day for me to just make Chino my perminant home.   So I'm learning new people and new tasks.  Also for the time being my hours will be 7-4 M-F, but once my department gets in full operation I'll work 6-6 W-S with a alternating 3 and 4 day week.  Yes that S stands for working Saturday!!  Yuck.

Hubby also started his new job on Monday.  He's loving it.  I just wish he'd cut ties with his old company but thats a whole nother Oprah.

4. Insurance
Kind of ties in with work...So since Hubby's new job is based in Canada (which has standardized health care) they have not quite figured out how to cover his insurance.  The game plan was go put him on insurance through my work and expense the cost difference.  It was going to work out smashingly because I'm supposed to get benefits starting Feb 1.  Surprise! My work doesnt offer medical insurance...they give us the option for supplemental coverage.  Something like Aflac.  So I am now on the hunt for individual coverage and its looking like about $300 for each of us. Yikes.

5. WW
Last Monday I missed my lunch time meeting because of a work meeting.  This Monday I missed because 1. I was in a new city and didnt feel like navigating and 2. I had another meeting to rush to for work back in Brea.  Monday's are clearly not working out for me.  Once my schedule settles down I'll have to pick a new meeting time near my new office.  In the mean time I've slide down the slippery slope of Cold Stones ice cream to the effect of being up 2 lbs.

6. Dr Apt.
D day is Thursday.  For so long it was so far away and now its right around the corner.  I have a wide range of emotions, I wish I could say excited but anxious is a more appropriate word.  I had this whole rosey colored bubble in my head that we'd meet with the dr and I'd show him my progress with weight loss and he'd say we have great odds.  My bubble hasnt totally burst, but I do feel down about not making my weight loss goal.  With no clue as to what we're going to discuss I feel almost vulnerable and I have a gut feeling like I'm going to be told to come back after I'd lost 50 lbs.

All this stress is jacking me up.  My period is MIA, I have a sty in my left eye and my psoriasis is flared up (I could play a mean game of connect the dots on my stomach)

I just need to get through this week....3 more days.  Hopefully I'll have a more positive post on Friday,  I know you'll want all the gory details from my visit.

Lean Mean 2013

So I didn't quite make the 13lb benchmark by January.  I missed the last 3 weigh ins.  According to my scale I was up and down over the 3 weeks; when I went for my official weigh in yesterday I was down .2 lbs.  At least its not a gain and I can still maintain my all loss book.  I've been on "break" making brownies and Mexican food (Why not go for bust since I wasn't counting anyway) but now its time to get back on the horse.

I've kept my promise to myself and I joined the community center gym.  I also went ahead and purchased Active Link to track my soon to be activity points.  I'm still trying to figure out how to use it but I'm excited about the tool and hoping it will give me more incentive.

My team leader was nice in saying "don't worry about the past, that's last years weight." 
Very true, I'm ready for the boost.  I'd love to say I'm going to lose 2 lbs a week and be at my goal for next year but realistically I'm going to put it out there to shoot for a 1lb a week knowing there will be ups and downs.  That will put me at a hopeful loss of 50 lbs!

So here's some other goings on for start of 2013.
As mentioned before we are moving!  In 5 weeks and counting...Officially February 16.  This has caused me some major stress in the past month but now things are settling down.  Hubby officially got a new job.  As of today his start date is January 21, but he's trying to get it bumped up to the 14th.  Seeing they want him on a conference call that day, I think it's fair the payroll clock starts then.  He'll be flying to Canada on the 21st and then to Atlanta to meet his new counter part on the 31st.

There was a lot of back and forth on the flight schedule but I'm happy to say He'll be able to go to the first fertility apt we have scheduled for January 24. 

Now I've read the starter packet back and forth and still have no clue what we're going to discuss in that first appointment.  But what I did find out is that we have to meet with a financial planner before we start any kind of treatment plan.  I thought this was kind of funny because don't you need to know what your planning to do before you know how much its going to cost?

The house we are moving into, I believe was built in the 70's.  Now my parents did some remodeling during the 20 years we lived there, but in the past 8 years the place has been screaming for a face lift.  At bare minimum we need to paint and carpet the place.  Gold, green and burgundy just AREN'T my colors!  There is also a leak in the master bath the feeds into a wall that will need to be taken care of ASAP so I've spent WAY more time in hardware stores than I'd ever imagine.  Why do I bring all this up?  A dirty little word called Finance, it's looming over my head. We don't have the up front cash to fix the house and I refuse to borrow it from the bank of Mom, so we'll have to finance that on top of what I'd already figured we'd have to finance for the medical stuff.

Yes there are a lot of goings on in my head.  On the funner side,  I have my annual scrapper bowl coming up February 9 and I'm hosting book club in March.  I've also added a knitting circle to my craft menagerie.  Sprinkle in a few photo shoots and we've got a full spring line up.

I just want to say I appreciate all my "cheer-readers" out there.  It mean's alot that you keep up with my silly stories and keep me encouraged to keep on my way.

Reprieve

Well I dragged my rear to the WW meeting today even though I didn't want to.  Turns out they were closed!  Probably due to the fact that I go to a meeting in a community center not a actual facility.  So this week I get a reprieve.  I think I needed it anyway.  I weighed myself this morning and thankfully I've lost the pound I gained due to grilled cheese bliss.  So I'll be adding that to my online tracker and we'll just call the past 2 weeks a wash *wink*

I've been seriously considering switching to a Friday meeting.  For me its easier to behave during the week because I only eat what I pack for work and my dinners are really planned out.  It's the weekend where...

Since the world did not end on Friday we decided to keep our Saturday plans and go to a friend's house warming.  I lived up the weeekend.  I did not pass up fresh baked norweigen bread, potatos and glass of wine....didnt take pictures, sorry my hands were full!  Sunday we had a nice breakfast while watching love it or list it my new fav home show followed by a AMAZING kabob lunch in Brea.  I dont know what to chalk it up to, life, stress eating, or just down right rebellion but I need to turn this ship around or I'm not going to make my January goal.  I have 4 more lbs to go to meet my 5% loss.

You might be wondering why would I be stress eating now?  We are still waiting to hear back about the job offer from Canada.  It all seems good, they've even given a start date but there's been no $$ given.  Normally I wouldn't stress about Hubby getting a job because he has a job currently.  Well you know how I had previously mentioned big changes are coming...this might be closest to the biggest one of all.  We are moving into my child hood home, most likely at the end of February.  The mortgage is a horse pill to swollow.  We can make it with our finances now but the new job would make things a whole lot smoother.

Also I sold alot of our stuff when we moved last year which means I need to re purchase things like a kitchen table and laundry machines.  Its going to be so funny having a house with no furniture.  I'm sure I'll post pictures as we go.

Right now I'm looking forward to tomorrow, an extra day off, we're finally going to sit down and read/fill out all the Dr's paper work and move along with that process.  Our apt is exactly a month away.

Secret Society Language - Abbreviations

Unless your interested in Infertility you could probably skip this post...

I've just been noticing that in all these blogs I've been reading there are alot of abbreviations.  Its like their own secret society language.  I'm constantly googling to find out what they are talking about.  So I actually found a nice little list in yahoo answers.  Some of them were ridiculous or creepy so I edited the list to fit my needs/things I may abbreviate.  Hope you find this helpful.

2WW = 2-Week Wait

AO = Anovulation

BBT = Basal Body Temperature
BCP = Birth Control Pills
BFN = Big Fat Negative
BFP = Big Fat Positive
BW, b/w = Bloodwork

C# = Cycle Number
CCT = Clomiphene Citrate Challenge Test (Clomid Challenge Test)
CD = Cycle Day
COH = Controlled Ovarian Hyperstimulation

DPO = Days Post-Ovulation
DPR = Days Post-Retrieval
DPT = Days Post-Transfer
Dx = Diagnosis

EPT = Early Pregnancy Test
ET = Embryo Transfer

FBG = Fasting Blood Glucose
FI = Fasting Insulin
FHR = Fetal Heart Rate
FP = Follicular Phase
FSH = Follicle Stimulating Hormone

GD = Gestational Diabetes
GnRH = Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone
GP = General Practitioner
GTT = Glucose Tolerance Test

hCG, HCG = Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
HRT = Hormone Replacement TherapyIF = Infertility
IGTT = Insulin and Glucose Tolerance Test
IOR = Immature Oocyte Retrieval
IR = Insulin Resistant
ITI = Intra-tubal Insemination
IUI = Intra-uterine Insemination
IVF = In Vitro Fertilization

LAP = Laparoscopy
LH = Luteinizing Hormone
LMP = Last Menstrual Period (start date)
LP = Luteal Phase
LSP = Low Sperm Count
LUF, LUFS = Luteinized Unruptured Follicle Syndrome

MC, m/c, misc. = Miscarriage

NORIF = Non-stimulated Oocyte Retrieval In (office) Fertilization
NP = Nurse Practitioner
NSA = Non-surgical Sperm Aspiration

O, OV = Ovulation
OB = Obstetrician
OD = Ovulatory Dysfunction
OHSS = Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit
OPT = Ovulation Predictor Test
OTC = Over The Counter

P4 = Progesterone
PA = Physician's Assistant
PCOD = Polycystic Ovary Disease
PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
PCP = Primary Care Physician
PG = Pregnant
PGD = Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis
PIO = Progesterone in Oil
PNM = Perinatal Mortality
POC = Products of Conception
POF = Premature Ovarian Failure
PROM = Premature Rupture of Membranes

RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist
R-FSH, R-hFSH = Recombinant Human Follicle Stimulating Hormone
RPL = Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rx = Prescription

SA = Semen Analysis
SCORIF = Stimulated Cycle Oocyte Retrieval In (office) Fertilization

TTC = Trying to Conceive
Tx = Treatment

US, u/s = Ultrasound

WNL = Within Normal Limits

Live a Little

Happy Monday Ya'll

I bet your wondering what the big loss was this week... a whopping 0.4!!  Whoo hooo!!

I'm just going to say I have no regrets from this last week.  Every morsel I ate was worth it, I did the best I could to track and hey at least I didn't gain!  So I'm still on track for my book of losses.  Since I was given a new book to go with the new program I am now trying to accomplish 20 losses instead of the original 16.

I can't say exactly where I went wrong last week, I just know that I was tired. 
Wednesday we went out to dinner and had sushi.  The sauces are just too oooey gooey delicious.
Thursday they had a appreciation lunch for us at work, no idea what they put in those potato's *wink*
Friday while I was at Costco picking up my photos I tripped and fell into a very berry sundae.
Saturday I went to a scrapbook crop, I had a salad for dinner but it came with garlic bread! and a cake pop for dessert.
Sunday we spontaneously had friends over for dinner.  Hubby did the cooking and it was fabulous steak with brandy cream sauce...along with my glass of wine and chocolate cheese cake to top it off.

Can you hear my buttons popping?

So no, it was not a surprise that I didn't lose as much as I "could" have, but some weeks you have to LIVE and that's what this program is about.  This week I'll get back on track, need a bigger loss this week.  I'm shooting to be down 15 lbs by Jan 1 and I have 5 lbs 10 oz to go.

We also got our paper work from the fertility dr on Friday.  It was SO much paper work to go through.  I basically skimmed it over long enough to see that they don't agree with herbal remedies.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do, if I should keep on my herbs for the next month until I go?  Or stop them now?  I'll have to read the whole packet and make some phone calls.

Hubby has a interview on Thursday, it's in Canada!  The job will be based on the west coast though.  This is the final interview so I'm hoping he comes home with good news.

Big changes ahead....stay tuned.

Drop of Sunshine on a Rainy day.

An update to my earlier post....

It's still raining and now my pant bottoms and shoes are soaking wet.  Im sitting at my desk bare foot and waiting for some work to get approved....

I hadn't heard back from HRC about getting a appointment scheduled so I decided to call.   Originally I really wanted to see Dr. Fredrick because 1. I wanted a lady Dr. 2. she's written alot of articles about PCOS.  Unfortunately she's based out of Newport Beach and thats just to much of a hike for us. 
So I decided to go with the Fullerton office.  It's closer to home and even though the Dr is a man, he looks normal hahaha.  I think too that having a male will be easier when it comes to getting hubby to open up about his own issues.

The lady was super nice.  She said that since we have Kaiser our consultation would be free!  And the follow up ultrasounds will be 10% off.  OH HAPPY DAY!

So it's done, I've booked our first fertility consultation for January 24, 2013.

Starting off November with a Bang

Today is weigh in day....my first of many to come.

"Drum roll please"  This week I lost 3 lbs! 

I have to say I'm a little elated because I did exactly what I was told not to do, weigh myself.  Not only that but I did it like every day.  And my scale only showed a 1.5 loss. As my WW leader says the only scale that matters is this one. So I'm going to stop weighing and just be surprised on Mondays.

Tricks I love this week:
1. Greek yogurt, tastes good high protein low points.  My friend showed me how to make tzakiki too.  Amazing.

2. Hummus and Cucumber, delish crunchy snack.

3. Using flavored olive oil in tuna instead of mayo.  It was SO good, I used a tsp of basil flavored EVOO in my tuna with onion, pickles, celery and a little mustard.  I stuffed 2 sandwich flats and had a totally satisfying lunch.

I also bought a pomegranate, my mom showed me how to knock out all the little gems.  I juiced them and added some to my green smoothie this morning.  SUPER sweet.

This morning I found out that one of my long time dearest friends is ALSO doing WW.  She just joined the week before me and I'm so excited that we can encourage one another.

My 5% goal is 13 lbs. I'm really hoping to be down 20 lbs by January. The community center that my ww meeting is at has a small gym.  I used to go about a year ago and I really like it.  I dont feel overwhelmed by the equipment and I love the classes they offer.  Anyhoo...they are offering 50% off the monthly membership in Janurary so it will be $14 instead of 28.  This is going to be my treat for acheiving my first goal so I can keep the momentum going.

After reading the PCOS blog, getting a big eye opener on the process and a little more research, I've determined that IUI is going to be the best course for us.  This also ties into my January goal.  I made a deal with Hubby to follow through with the consultation at the HRC (Huntington Reproductive Center) so they can give me a current status on my ovaries and do a work up on him too.  Its time to jump in.  Next year I'm determined to be a Mother.

Hubby is out of town this week for work.  I got the cleaning bug yesterday and purged his dresser and closet.  Got a nice little donation pile for the good will.  I also ironed the big pile of dress shirts I've been avoiding for about a month.  Now I actually know what he has and needs.  I'm hoping to give the bathroom a good scrub tonight and dust.  Then I'll have a chore free house for the rest of the week which means I will have time to scrapbook! guilt free.

I have a baby shower invite job to get crackin on too.  I have till the end of November to pump out 75. Woo..

Something's gotta give

Its amazing the rejuvenating property's wine and the ocean can have...

Our trip was a success.  Husband did a really nice job in picking the hotel with a ocean view.  We joined 2 wine clubs in the attempt to become grown ups LOL. 

Nothing much has changed in this month.  I got my herbs but I haven't started taking them.  Boo on me.  I just called to find out what dose I'm supposed to take. They are sitting on my kitchen counter wagging a finger of shame at me.

I jumped on the scale this past weekend and heard it cry "Uncle".  I've gained another 10 lbs, bringing my grand total to a unmentionable number.  Its disheartening because its the main thing I have to do, LOSE weight. If TTC isnt enough to drive me what is? One of my really good friends just joined weight watchers and asked if I would go with her.  Ironically I got a email from work saying they offered a discount to join in a effort to promote healthy life styles.  I decided to give it a shot again.  I heard there was a new point plan and I'm not doing anything better so why not?   

I was channel surfing last night and stumbled across an episode of sex in the city.  It was the episode where Miranda is pregnant and is thinking of not having the baby and Charlotte finds out she has a 15% chance of getting pregnant because she has a hostile uterus.  Parts of it made me want to bawl like a baby.  I swallowed down my tears so my husband wouldn't look at me like a lunatic.  It made me think about going to the HRC for a consultation. I have all the paperwork but havent followed through with an appointment because of the cost.  The only doctor I've seen is my Gyn. so it might be a good call to get another opinion on how to move forward.  Who knows?  What if I have a hostile uterus on top of the PCOS? 

We have also talked about potentially seeing a dr in Mexico.  When Husband went to his dr to get checked out the dr refused to check his hormone/testosterone levels because of his age.  He basically said we've looked at to many things online and wouldnt look into it further.  I would never go to Mexico on my own.  We actually got a recomendation from a friend who offered to go with us.  I dont even speak spanish!  I guess more on that later.

Back in August I had bought this book the beauty detox solution.  I skipped around it a bunch, now that I've finished reading the hunger games trilogy I'm going to force myself to read it cover to cover.  From what I have read it makes sense how she recommends to eat.  I've been drinking the glowing green smoothie and its pretty good.  I even have husband drinking it. 

Somethings gotta give....I need to get back on track.



Get a cup of coffee, it's a LONG story

I guess the best place to start this story is way back in February 2004.  One of my best friends was getting married and my bridesmaid dress had just arrived, imagine my horror that it didn’t fit!  How had I gained so much weight in such a short amount of time???  Little did I know that at 23 yrs old that this was the beginning of the end as far as weight loss goes.  I joined weight watchers for the first time and thankfully was able to drop enough to get into that dress.

Let’s fast forward to Sept 2005, I went to Massachusetts to visit my then boyfriend (now husband) for 8 weeks.   When I got home my mother’s jaw dropped, she brought it to my attention that I had “blown up”.   I jumped on the scale and there it was…35 lbs heavier.   Freaked out I went to the doctor and told her about my rapid weight gain and struggles to keep it off in the past.  After a couple rounds of blood tests and a recommendation to the endocrinologist it was determined that I have PCOS.  

Well what the heck is that??

Clinical Definition:

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is one of the most common female endocrine disorders. PCOS is a complex, heterogeneous disorder of uncertain etiology, but there is strong evidence that it can to a large degree be classified as a genetic disease.

PCOS produces symptoms in approximately 5% to 10% of women of reproductive age (12–45 years old). It is thought to be one of the leading causes of female infertility and the most frequent endocrine problem in women of reproductive age.

The principal features are anovulation, resulting in irregular menstruation, amenorrhea, ovulation-related infertility, and polycystic ovaries; excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones, resulting in acne and hirsutism (excessive hairiness); and insulin resistance, often associated with obesity, Type 2 diabetes, and high cholesterol levels. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among affected women.

(Thank you Wikipedia)

Awesome right?  Doesn’t every woman dream of being fat and hairy?  Not to mention Acne.

My Dr put me on the pill to regulate my periods, suggested I go back to weight watchers, handed me a pamphlet on my condition and kindly showed me the door.    I left feeling confused and over whelmed, but at least I had a name for what was going on.

Jump on over to May 2006, my first encounter with a ovarian cyst.  For months I had a dull stabbing pain in my abdomen, it finally had gotten to the point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore and wanted to know what was happening.   My Dr sent me to get a ultrasound so she could check out my uterus and ovaries.   Have you ever had an internal ultrasound?  Talk about AWKWARD!  So the technician is turning the screen and looking at it from every angle taking pictures and looking so serious.  I keep asking what she’s looking at and her response is you’ll have to talk to your physician for the results.  Argh.  She’s finished, I’m getting dressed and staring at the screen trying to figure out what the heck is in the grey blob.  Driving home I get a gut wrenching stabbing pain.  So bad I think I’m going to pass out, so I pull over until it subsides and slowly make my way home.   When I finally see my Dr for the follow up results I tell her what happened and she says simply “you had a slow leaking cyst, it must have burst.”  I’m sitting there nodding but really thinking “CYST?  BURST?  WHAT?”  as she goes on to tell me that she’s more interested in what the ultrasound showed…"your uterus and ovaries are healthy….. and you’ve ovulated."

I thought that’s what we wanted?

“well, we have you on the pill, so you should not be ovulating”

So what does that mean?

“you know on the packaging where it tells you 99% effective?  Well you fall into the 1% that will still ovulate and can get pregnant while taking the pill”

WHAT?

“it’s rare but it does happen.  You’ll just have to be extra careful until you’re ready to have children.”

At this point I’m thinking are you freaking kidding me?  Which is it?  Can I or can I not have children?

I tell this whole scenario to Boyfriend and he says “can’t they put you on extra pills?” 

This ladies and gentlemen is how 27 yr old men think.

                Between 2007 and 2009 my weight went up and down like a yo-yo, I did weight watchers 2 more times (and in hindsight I do believe this is the best way) but didn’t stick, next was nutri system (expensive and disgusting), the lemon maple cayenne cleanse (burnt my throat), south beach, atkins and probably numerous others I don’t remember at the moment.

                March 2009 we got engaged!   August rolled around and wouldn’t you know it, my wedding dress didn’t fit.  With 3 months till my wedding my sister told me about HCG.  This diet was probably my most extreme.  I gave myself injections and stayed on a strict 500 calorie diet of lean meat and veggies.  I lost 45 lbs and I got into my dress (size 14).   But settling into married life, cooking and baking cupcakes (I LOVE CUPCAKES) led to gaining it all back plus more. 

                October 2010 Husband took me to Hawaii for our 1 yr anniversary.  I just started a new job, we had insurance, I had turned 29 a few months earlier…and my baby clock was SERIOUSLY ticking.  After some serious convincing of the Husband… June 2011 I went back to the Dr to get a whole new panel done (I hadn’t had a period since January and that was ON the pill, I got off the pill in April), see how things were looking on the inside and have her bring Husband up to speed on how the whole baby making process SHOULD work, she drew us some charts and this is where it all went to HELL.   “You’re not ovulating regularly, your eggs are not forming correctly, they’re not viable.  I can recommend a fertility specialist, they can prescribe Clomid to help stimulate the egg growth….BUT your blood pressure is too high,  you really need to lose weight to carry a healthy pregnancy, you’re in danger of having gestational diabetes and hyper tension if you do get pregnant and I really would not recommend you try at this time.”

I felt like all the air just got sucked out of the room.  Crushed.

The new plan was to 1. Take some progesterone to jump start the period 2. really stick to losing weight so that my body would naturally get back in sync, my blood pressure would lower and I wouldn’t have to get on any medication.

Step one worked.  Thankfully it’s been an entire year now with a cycle every month.  Who ever thought they’d be excited to get their period, NOT ME!!!  Haha.

Step two we’re still working on…but my blood pressure has come down so that’s good.

Since this post is SO long I’ll stop now, my next post will pick up at October 2011.