Recovery

Mentally

It took me a while to wrap my brain around what happened and figure out how to write this post.
Dr. Potter felt very optimistic that he would save/repair the left side.  He did tell us that there's always a chance that they will find a surprise when they got inside.  My gut told me they were going to have to take both but my heart was stuck on the hope that it would be repaired and I'd have a shot some day at doing this the "normal" way.



When I heard the hospital staff talking outside my room, I thought well this sucks. I knew it.
After I'd fully come out of anesthesia I asked my recovery nurse to make sure I wasn't hearing things.
The nurse confirmed yes and then my loving husband told me the rest.

Dr. Potter met with him while I was sleeping.  When they opened me up the left side was considerably more damaged than the scan had shown.  They preformed another HSG to see where the dye would flood to double check the results.  The left end was completely sealed no dye could pass and it was extremely enlarged, to the point it was translucent.  The right side was able to have some dye go through but it was beyond repair, also being enlarged and blown out.  Imagine blowing up a balloon to the point where you could see though it and its almost about to pop.  If it had been left in there would be a serious risk of ectopic pregnancy and losing it anyway.  My uterus and ovaries look great though.

So this is the hard part, there is no more hope for one day thinking I'm late I might be pregnant or let's try to have another baby.  It will always have to be clinical, calculated, frustrating and Stinking Expensive.  My brain tells me "you couldn't get pregnant with your tubes anyway."  But my heart screams "this isn't fair, I don't want to pay for a child, I just want to be normal."

It took about 4 days to sink in.  There was the Ugly Cry, I sobbed in the dark and my husband rubbed my back and repeated "I understand".

Physically

When we left the hospital it was 3:30.  I slept the whole way home, was put in bed and woke up at 6:30.  Hubby had gone to pick up my meds and left my mom to babysit.  I requested tortilla soup and she delivered.  Funny how mom's are; she made sure I had my robe and slippers, pillows and a step stool to reach my high bed.

There were flowers, magazines and cards.  Lunch and Dinners brought.  Hot cocoa and RUM. Yes, my friends know me well.

My sister made me this amazing basket, it was so beautiful and pink.  I was genuinely touched and started sobbing.  Like uncontrollably. What can I say? It was a rough week.

I had two incisions in my belly button, one right above my pelvic bone and one directly over my right ovary.  They taped me up from here to kingdom come!  Like my entire stomach.  I was told to leave them on until my post op (a FULL week) and to sleep sitting up.  My anesthesiologist told me that they were going to blow up my abdomen with gas and it usually ends up trapped in the shoulders.  He was not kidding.  I had so much pain in my right shoulder it felt like someone was trying to rip my arm off.  What do you do when you cant move your tummy?  You use other parts like your back and arms to maneuver yourself.  Well every time I would move my arm it would shift that bubble and blind me with pain.  At some points I literally screamed.  It was way worse than the actual incisions!

They were just sore and itchy.  My bandages didn't last 9 days, by day 5 I was dying to take them off and let my skin breath.  Hubby used to be a EMT, he got me waterproof bandages and got me all set up so I could take a decent shower (which was Amazing).

When I had my post op Dec 10, Dr. Potter confirmed what happened in surgery and showed me the pictures.  He looked at my incisions, all were healing well but one.  Apparently my body was rejecting the stitches and pushing them back through my skin!  Frankin-stitches. He had to get his tweezers and pull it out!  It didn't hurt but it did freak me out.

He then gave me the A OK to proceed with IVF.  We met with Janet to get our list of meds and made a appointment with the financial person Julie.  We also had both our blood drawn for genetic screening, we will not be screening our embryos.  More big decisions ahead.



Salpingectomy....Farewell Fallopian tubes

The Surgery

Monday morning we made our way over to Hoag Memorial.  It was like walking into a hotel, marbled floors, elevator music and a swanky reception desk that let me know they were waiting for me upstairs.  Should have known better when they valeted our car. 

The wait wasn't to long before I was taken back to my tiny room, more like a stall to change into my stylish gown.  Everyone was nice and accommodating, with every passing nurse I got a new bracelet and recited the spelling of my name and birth date for accuracy.  My favorite was the no blood bracelet, the others were name tags and allergies, I even got a orange band to identify which side they were removing from!

After a while they let Hubby come back and keep me company.  We used the wifi and watched some Dr Who. Then I shut it off thinking "what if they put me out and I dream about something terrible and can't wake myself up?"  I was also extremely afraid of waking up during surgery and how badly a IV would hurt.  My mother in law suggested I ask for a IV nurse and anti anxiety meds.  

Well I struck out on the nurse but my anesthesiologist was fantastic! He insisted on doing the IV himself, talked to me through the whole thing and I have to say the worse part was the shot to numb my hand. He totally hooked me up on the anti anxiety and the next thing I knew I was waving good bye and lights out. 

Literally lights out, I had to remove my contacts (legally blind without them) it was blurry going into the hallway and I remember looking down at my hand that was burning like a hot poker and looking up at the lights whisking by. 

The next thing I know I'm touching my face and I hear a voice telling me to put my hand down and then physically pushing it down.  I still don't know what I was touching, maybe a oxygen mask? The next voice I heard was a man asking me what my pain level was, I mumbled 4 and he said it's ok your still sleepy I'll ask you in a little bit.  ...sleeping..... Moaning, it hurts....how bad? 7.....pain meds....it's dark and noisy and there's a man next to me yelling.  I remember blinking hard and asking if I was supposed to be waking up (trying so hard to wake up) or if I could go back to sleep.....sleeping....asking to use the bathroom "your still a little sleepy to be walking do you want a bed pan?" I'll hold it....more voices and something that sounds like "No, it was a double salpingectomy."

Even in a stooper I know what that means, they took both tubes. 

In the Background

So my last few posts may have looked “zippity do da” like we’re just buzzin’ through life with fun filled weekends; which is partly true but there has definitely been activity in the background.

Back in Feb I posted about my fasting glucose test and all the other required tests to get a proper plan in place.  The result of that glucose test was a prescription to get back on Metformin 750 mg 3 times a day and switch over to the Paleo diet.   I never actually made it up to 750, I’ve been maintaining 500mg x 3.  I’ve been doing OK on Paleo, until about 2 weeks ago.  I literally thought I was going to vomit if I had to eat one more premade meal with caulirice.  So we put that delivery service on hold for this month and I’m cooking.

August 26 I officially changed from contract to permanent employee which means we have insurance!   They automatically sign everyone up for Kaiser, which I have nothing against but I like my own doctors and I hate having to go through the endless paper approval process.  So we switched over to Blueshield 90/10 plan, the most expensive (560 per month) but the least in deductible and included infertility coverage.

When I took this job the idea was to work 3 12 hr days a week.  That should have allotted me the time to go to the dr. Well HR wouldn’t approve that, the most they would agree to was a 4/10 schedule.   After a lot of back and forth and being completely burnt out I got assigned a normal 5/8 schedule.  I now work from 6-2:30.


Sept 25 I saw my regular Dr to have my yearly physical done and get all my stats updated.  My blood pressure was abnormally high, it was attributed to work stress.  

Oct 1 Went to get the remainder of my blood work done.  Was gone from work 2 hrs, there was a miscommunication on how I could break out my time, which turned in to a discussion with my supervisors on what I’m perusing and how much time I can take.
Basically they want me to make all my appointments after I’m off for the day, they are willing to let me take a hour lunch and stay until 3 pm to get my lab work done.   We have to meet again in 3 months.

Oct 7 Nurse called with lab results, said everything looked good except I was very low on vitamin D and needed good cholesterol.   Recommended 2000IU Vitamin D and flax seed oil.  Later that night I was curious about my BP and had hubby take it.  156/110, scary high.

Oct 8 Called Nurse back told her about BP, she insisted I see the dr right away.  Go to dr get prescribed BP meds and asked to take log of readings for 2 months.  Attending dr see’s we are trying to get pregnant in chart and thankfully prescribes a med that I can stay on through a pregnancy.

Oct 9 Go back and forth with our lousy PA Janet on lab results and missing tests.  Apparently she forgot to order 2 blood tests on top of needing my LH and FSH levels.  I had to have a baseline ultrasound done between cycle day 1-4 and she insisted it be done at their office between 7-9 am. And then there was the Sonohysterogram that needed to be scheduled before day 12.  Can you believe she told me "just send me a email on cycle day 1 and I’ll get all this scheduled for you?"
I call the dr’s office and ask to speak to anyone BUT Janet, thank goodness I did.  Ended up talking to a very nice lady named Lisette.  She explained that I could get my labs done at Quest or at any HRC office as long as they were same day results and that I can also get my ultrasounds done at any HRC office.  She helped me move my baseline to a 4pm apt in Newport and confirmed my sono with Dr Potter on 10/24, which Janet never scheduled!

Oct 15 Cycle day 1.  Email Janet (useless)

Oct 16 Cycle day 2, go to Newport for the most awkward ultrasound of my life.   I’ve done the internal deal before but never bleeding!  Who signs up for this job?  Gross.  It only lasted about 10 minutes.  He took pictures and basically said 10 words.  

“Healthy lining for day 2.  10 Follicles on each side, small. Ovaries consistent with PCOS.”
I wasn’t really sure what all that meant, this is what Dr. Google found.

This whole time I thought the cysts were on the outside of the ovary, not around the eggs. So then naturally I wanted to know how many follicles was normal.

So I guess I'm lower than average?

I also ran into Janet on my way out, who forgot to tell me to schedule an HSG (hysterosalpingogram) between day 6-10.  Do you see a pattern of forgetfulness here?

At check out; $323 for one ultrasound, 4 labs and 1 copay.  This is at 50% cost according to my plan, I double checked.   Dr. Potter wasn’t going to be able to meet up for a complete follow up until Nov 13. So the soonest we can start a cycle will be Nov 15.

Oct 17 Called our insurance to find a hospital with a radiology department in plan.  I still cannot believe I had to schedule this on my own.

Oct 21 Cycle day 7 Went to Whittier Community Hospital for HSG.  If you are squeamish stop reading here.

“During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube that is put through the vagina lady business and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes, or a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus.” – WEBMD

This had to be the most utterly horrifying experience in my life.   My nurse was really nice and sympathetic.  She showed me all the tools and explained the procedure. The Dr was the exact opposite.  I had to lay on a table similar to what you would for a pap accept completely flat on my back and totally exposed.   

He had to clean the “area” with iodine, then the speculum (which was not smooth or gentle), then he fed in the catheter which felt like a jab and then pressure and then extreme pain which made me yelp and nearly push off the table.   He said he made the balloon to big and had to start over.   I wanted to grab something.  My first instinct was to grab onto the thing nearest, which was the xray machine, so that was a no.  I couldn’t grab the table either.  I ended up balling my fists and covering my eyes and breathing.  The pain was so extreme when he put in the contrast, burning and pressure and cramping. I thought I might faint or vomit.   Just a few more minutes. More dye, more pain, more breathing. Then he stopped to look at the screen.  I could barely look at the screen myself.  “Right side completely blocked.  Left side blocked, no wait, dye is showing slowly.  A partial blockage.”   

(This is not my film, but mine looked very similar)

Then he leaves the room.  Nurse says all done and I say are you sure?  She says yes again.  And I say it still hurts, I feel pressure, are you sure he got everything out?  She says yes and that I will have cramping because there was some bleeding.  And I say No, there is pressure.  She tries to help me up. At this point I reach around all the draping and PULL out the speculum.  He left it in!!  I knew I didn’t hear the clicks of it being released.   The nurse looked totally humiliated and kept apologizing. She took the tool and we looked at the stand together as she recounted all the tools.  There was blood on most of it.  She helped lower the table so I could get off, my legs were quivering and there was a rush – the dye and whatever else coming out.  She gave me a towel and helped me walk to the bathroom.  I don’t know if I wanted to sob because of the pain or because of the results, but I had to hold it together long enough to get my films and get the heck out of there.  
I text hubby on the way out to go pick up my scrip for antibiotics and guess who forgot to call them in?

When I got home I soaked in the tub for about a hour. It was therapeutic, kind of like I was washing off what just happened.    There was lots of cramping and spotting for the rest of the night and following day.

Oct 24 Tomorrow my Sonohysterogram is scheduled and I’m totally freaked out about it.  It’s a similar procedure with the cath and inserting saline.  This time hubby can go with me.   I’ll update this post either Friday or Monday.

Lab Worked Over

So Fridays lab work didn't turn out quite like I thought. I actually didn't have any blood drawn at all, this is why:

The PA that issued my lab orders failed to tell me my fasting glucose test was going to take 3 hours and that I needed to have a high carb diet for 3 days prior to the draw. (Yea I had a salad for dinner)

Seeing I had to go back to work I asked what else I could get out of the way so the trip wouldn't be a waste. Here's where it got hairy, the remaining hormone and infectious disease tests came up to $900 and they wanted payment up front. Turns out that Quest only takes payments for people who have been approved for financial aid.

I got a little angry at this point and wanted to see what the cost per test was. I also questioned why I had to do these infectious disease test anyway, I was basically told the state mandates it because they don't want any more children being born with HIV or Hepatitis. I both understand this and think its ridiculous, what about all the infected people who get pregnant every day? Can't control that. So the standard HIV test is $40 and then there's a secondary test that tells you what type you have for $400. This is what mad me really angry, I KNOW I have no STDs why on earth would I pay for this extra test??

I basically sat for a hour arguing with the lab on what I would and would not be paying for especially since it had to be up front. I finally got the cost down to $300 and wouldn't you know it my credit card got declined. I totally forgot we used it to buy hubby's flight to Canada.

Totally embarrassed I picked up a form for financial aid and cried the ugly cry in the parking lot.

The PA called and we worked out how to stagger the tests then I pulled myself together in time to walk into my office.

Now I'm back at the lab on Monday morning. I had my first draw done and drank the limeaid sugar water. Toward the end I wanted to gag. I have 2 more draws today, 4 tubes each. Can't. Wait.

Hi Ho Paleo

I decided to dive into the world of paleo eating.

 

A week or so ago I got on the topic of diet with a co worker and ending up telling her that my Dr had recommended going paleo. Excitedly she told me she'd been doing the diet for a few months and loved it. After talking about all our ailments, struggles and benefits of eating paleo she sent me a email full of blogs to follow and let me borrow her book.

Last night I cooked the last bag of pasta in my house. I've slowly been riding my house of carbs and grains as I'm reading the paleo diet book. Principles seem simple enough, no processed foods, dairy, carbs and sugars. If it comes from the earth/doesn't have a label it's A OK to eat baring a few things like legumes and starchy potatoes.

I have to do a little more research on sweet potatoes, starchy and yet a super food. I'm also not ready to give up my hummus! My absolute favorite snack with veggies. Ms. co worker said she had a paleo friendly hummus recipe; I'm leery but I'll give it a try before I knock it.

There's also the little matter of doing a 21 day sugar detox. While I totally see the benefit in this, I think I may just go bonkers giving up carbs, dairy and sugar in one shot. So hubby and I decided to cut the carbs first then move on to dairy and sugar. Also being in the middle of moving this is the best I can do.

After long debate on what to do about getting my blood tests done I decided to bite the bullet and go through with it, I scheduled a apt to be drained on Friday.  Quest Diagnostics will allow us to make payments...because by my count the lab request looks like 12 x $70.   When the results are in I'll be able to start a new prescription of metformin along with the paleo diet and see how my body likes it.  Apparently on this new dose if I even smell a carb I'll get really ill, hoping that will work as a nice deterrent.

From there, when we're ready we'll start booking the ultra sounds/xrays (somewhere around April/May) are really get this pony show on the road!

Counting down the days till we move, starting to pack this weekend and meeting with the painters tomorrow.

What's up Doc?

Here's the big update

The office was nice, intimate and private.
The first thing we were handed was our "hope" workbook and Dr. Potter's book "what to do when you can't get pregnant" I'm not sure if the title was some sick twist on what to expect when your expecting?  But I took it with stride and chose a seat thinking I cant believe I'm in this place.

We sat in the waiting room about 15 minutes. Long enough for hubby to fiddle with the high tech coffee maker and for me to flip through the book. To be honest I haven't even looked through our work book yet because I'm still in "sticker shock" but I'll get to that later.

Earlier in the day I stumbled on to Yelp reviews of the facility and the Dr I was about to see. I thought Yelp was only for food! There was some good bad and ugly, but for the most part I felt it made be better prepared. I chalk up the reviews to some people need to be coddled and sugar coated while others like myself want the more direct approach.

Dr Potter was the perfect amount of straight forward while still maintaining sensitivity.  He started out by asking for my medical history in my own words.  Of course in my own sarcastic way to defuse awkwardness I answered "I like sunsets and walks on the beach".  I got the desired chuckle and proceeded to run down my issues in 3 minutes or less.  He listened as he flipped through my records and made notes.  To my relief he told me that my old Dr Wood was on the right path by prescribing the metformin, that most Dr's are not comfortable dealing with my problem because they just didn't know enough about it.   I was really bummed out when Dr Wood retired and I got passed on to Dr Garcia.  I felt like Dr Garcia didn't really care to work with me, especially when I asked if my met could be increased and she looked at me like I was crazy.  And now Dr Potter is telling me that not only should it be increased, I need to be taking 3 times the amount.  He also shed some light on insulin resistance and how some cultures are more genetically predisposed to it.  He told me that I need to be on the Paleolithic diet, like a hunter/gatherer eating small animals (his words), green veggies, nuts and berries.  He also brought up that people didn't hoard the food they found all day till 5pm and sit down to a big feast, they ate as the went.  Eating wasn't easy, it was out of necessity.  He said if I worked really hard at this new diet, increased my exercise with my new meds the weight should fall off more easily.   I found this all very interesting.  He was so exuberant about it.

We talked a little more about our concerns.  And here is the bottom line. 
Can he get us pregnant?
Yes, he believes with in 3 IUI treatments we can have success.

Does he recommend IUI over IVF?
We won't be able to tell our direct path until we get all the blood work and tests back.  If its as simple as I just don't ovulate with no added issues IUI is definitely the way to go.  But if we find there's stacked issues we wont waste time and go straight to IVF.  Time will tell.

Do I have to drop 100 lbs before we start?
No, while I do have to lose some its not as drastic as I thought.  We can start as early as the next 2 months.  I need to get off my current meds so he can test my hormone levels and check out my liver before I start the new scrip.

He was very nice, I didn't feel like the brush off and no question was stupid.  It was really nice that he was familiar with everything I asked about and had a logical answer to everything.  So after the run down he wrote out all the details of what he wanted tested and when, then we got to sit with his assistant.  She gave us all the test prices and here is where the sticker shock comes in.

Tests include but are not limited to:
Ultrasound to check if my tubes are open  $243
Sonohysterogram (say that 5 times fast) to check my uterus and egg count $500
Mock Transfer (I don't know what this is) $145
Hormone Tests 5X $63
And now the state of CA is requiring infectious decease screening for $200 X2 for me and Hubs.
And then we have to get the guys counted for $220

Anybody have a calculator?  That's about $1900 out of pocket if I can't get insurance to pay for it. (remember I still have to choose a new insurance too)

And it's all so time sensitive, each thing happens on a specific cycle day.  The nurse was kind of pushing that we start in Feb.  But its just to soon.  It's so much to wrap my brain around, I've waited this long 2 more months are not going to kill me.

In the mean time its fun to go to restaurants and order "large animals with a side of carbs"

small update

I'm just going to put it out there that the appointment went well.  I really liked the dr. and its alot of information to absorb.  I'm just to mentally exhausted to write it all down.  Maybe tomorrow...

Dominos

I've maxed out my brain capacity; there are to many things whirling around upstairs. 
I'm going to write it out in a list because its the only way I can make sense of all the domino's.

1. Credit Issues
My sister's first name and my middle name are similar.  Our socials are also 2 digits apart. Resulting in our identity's via the credit bureaus getting crossed up.  Unfortunately she has a some not so bueno things showing up and it is now tanking my credit score.  We hired a company to get it straightened out and its going to take at minimum 30-45 days.

2. Finance
This whole credit issue is really jacking me up because now I can not get financed to put in carpet in the house. I've been getting denied left and right.  We're going to try it under Hubby's name only and see what it gets us. This is also distressing because we will have to finance the baby stuff. 

3. Work
My job location just shifted.  I knew all along that I was going to be working in a different office but I didnt anticipate things to change with in a few hours.  Its kind of hard to explain the whole scenario because I report to one person but have a dotted line to like 6 other departments.  So I came from our Brea office to our Chino office to train and cover for someone else and my supervisor decided it was a good day for me to just make Chino my perminant home.   So I'm learning new people and new tasks.  Also for the time being my hours will be 7-4 M-F, but once my department gets in full operation I'll work 6-6 W-S with a alternating 3 and 4 day week.  Yes that S stands for working Saturday!!  Yuck.

Hubby also started his new job on Monday.  He's loving it.  I just wish he'd cut ties with his old company but thats a whole nother Oprah.

4. Insurance
Kind of ties in with work...So since Hubby's new job is based in Canada (which has standardized health care) they have not quite figured out how to cover his insurance.  The game plan was go put him on insurance through my work and expense the cost difference.  It was going to work out smashingly because I'm supposed to get benefits starting Feb 1.  Surprise! My work doesnt offer medical insurance...they give us the option for supplemental coverage.  Something like Aflac.  So I am now on the hunt for individual coverage and its looking like about $300 for each of us. Yikes.

5. WW
Last Monday I missed my lunch time meeting because of a work meeting.  This Monday I missed because 1. I was in a new city and didnt feel like navigating and 2. I had another meeting to rush to for work back in Brea.  Monday's are clearly not working out for me.  Once my schedule settles down I'll have to pick a new meeting time near my new office.  In the mean time I've slide down the slippery slope of Cold Stones ice cream to the effect of being up 2 lbs.

6. Dr Apt.
D day is Thursday.  For so long it was so far away and now its right around the corner.  I have a wide range of emotions, I wish I could say excited but anxious is a more appropriate word.  I had this whole rosey colored bubble in my head that we'd meet with the dr and I'd show him my progress with weight loss and he'd say we have great odds.  My bubble hasnt totally burst, but I do feel down about not making my weight loss goal.  With no clue as to what we're going to discuss I feel almost vulnerable and I have a gut feeling like I'm going to be told to come back after I'd lost 50 lbs.

All this stress is jacking me up.  My period is MIA, I have a sty in my left eye and my psoriasis is flared up (I could play a mean game of connect the dots on my stomach)

I just need to get through this week....3 more days.  Hopefully I'll have a more positive post on Friday,  I know you'll want all the gory details from my visit.

Hobbies and Jalepano's

I don't have anything super wonderful to report, but I feel like writing so it's time for show and tell.

Since its been cold and raining, the general feeling is to be inside nice and cozy.  So here are a few of my current projects. 

I started a mini book that I had intended to give as a baby shower gift.  That didn't happen and now the baby's heading into 4 months lol.  But I had all the stuff and so I decided to go ahead and finish it, the up side is I can now add pictures instead of giving it to my friend blank!

Next on my list of cozy projects is knitting.  One day while walking through Michael's I noticed this scrumptious sample of yarn, Loops & Threads Bunny Tail (pom pom).  I had to have it.  It looked really hard to work with, so I did my research and found some patterns to use.  Last November one of my besties and fellow knitter came over and we watched multiple you tube videos to figure out how to cast on these little monsters.   Once we got it down the rest was easy peasy.  The trick is you knit one stitch between the balls. The funny story about this blanket is that it called for 70 stitches.  I decided I wanted it a little bigger so I cast on 80 stitches.  Then I had my sister look at it and she said might as well make it a even hundred.  Well NOW the blanket is about 6 feet in length.  What started to be a lap blanket will now be a couch blanket for me and my hunny.   Since I usually scrap during the summer (and we've had a unseasonably warm winter) this project got pushed in the closet and was recently resurrected.  I'll be sure to post a picture when its done.  At the rate I'm knitting should be some time in January.

Last but not least I joined a book club.  This past month I read "The Lost Wife".  It was REALLY good so much I wish I had more book to read.  Tonight is the first meeting I'll be attending and the dinner theme is Gourmet Grilled Cheese, Soups and Champagne.   I'm in trouble lol.  I made jalapeno poppers pictured below.  Not too bad, I used the reduced fat crescent roll dough and re cut the sheet into 32 squares.  With a tsp of cream cheese and some chopped jale's, they come out to 1 point each.   I also made some with mini chocolate chips and brown sugar, also 1 point each.

Down side, I had a off site meeting for work today and they provided lunch.  The lunch in itself wasn't bad, 7 pts.  But I was STARVING and ended up eating the 12 point cookie that came in the lunch box.  I'm contemplating taking my own dinner to book club tonight so I don't totally botch this week.  We'll see what the scale says on Monday!

Secret Society Language - Abbreviations

Unless your interested in Infertility you could probably skip this post...

I've just been noticing that in all these blogs I've been reading there are alot of abbreviations.  Its like their own secret society language.  I'm constantly googling to find out what they are talking about.  So I actually found a nice little list in yahoo answers.  Some of them were ridiculous or creepy so I edited the list to fit my needs/things I may abbreviate.  Hope you find this helpful.

2WW = 2-Week Wait

AO = Anovulation

BBT = Basal Body Temperature
BCP = Birth Control Pills
BFN = Big Fat Negative
BFP = Big Fat Positive
BW, b/w = Bloodwork

C# = Cycle Number
CCT = Clomiphene Citrate Challenge Test (Clomid Challenge Test)
CD = Cycle Day
COH = Controlled Ovarian Hyperstimulation

DPO = Days Post-Ovulation
DPR = Days Post-Retrieval
DPT = Days Post-Transfer
Dx = Diagnosis

EPT = Early Pregnancy Test
ET = Embryo Transfer

FBG = Fasting Blood Glucose
FI = Fasting Insulin
FHR = Fetal Heart Rate
FP = Follicular Phase
FSH = Follicle Stimulating Hormone

GD = Gestational Diabetes
GnRH = Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone
GP = General Practitioner
GTT = Glucose Tolerance Test

hCG, HCG = Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
HRT = Hormone Replacement TherapyIF = Infertility
IGTT = Insulin and Glucose Tolerance Test
IOR = Immature Oocyte Retrieval
IR = Insulin Resistant
ITI = Intra-tubal Insemination
IUI = Intra-uterine Insemination
IVF = In Vitro Fertilization

LAP = Laparoscopy
LH = Luteinizing Hormone
LMP = Last Menstrual Period (start date)
LP = Luteal Phase
LSP = Low Sperm Count
LUF, LUFS = Luteinized Unruptured Follicle Syndrome

MC, m/c, misc. = Miscarriage

NORIF = Non-stimulated Oocyte Retrieval In (office) Fertilization
NP = Nurse Practitioner
NSA = Non-surgical Sperm Aspiration

O, OV = Ovulation
OB = Obstetrician
OD = Ovulatory Dysfunction
OHSS = Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit
OPT = Ovulation Predictor Test
OTC = Over The Counter

P4 = Progesterone
PA = Physician's Assistant
PCOD = Polycystic Ovary Disease
PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
PCP = Primary Care Physician
PG = Pregnant
PGD = Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis
PIO = Progesterone in Oil
PNM = Perinatal Mortality
POC = Products of Conception
POF = Premature Ovarian Failure
PROM = Premature Rupture of Membranes

RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist
R-FSH, R-hFSH = Recombinant Human Follicle Stimulating Hormone
RPL = Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rx = Prescription

SA = Semen Analysis
SCORIF = Stimulated Cycle Oocyte Retrieval In (office) Fertilization

TTC = Trying to Conceive
Tx = Treatment

US, u/s = Ultrasound

WNL = Within Normal Limits

Drop of Sunshine on a Rainy day.

An update to my earlier post....

It's still raining and now my pant bottoms and shoes are soaking wet.  Im sitting at my desk bare foot and waiting for some work to get approved....

I hadn't heard back from HRC about getting a appointment scheduled so I decided to call.   Originally I really wanted to see Dr. Fredrick because 1. I wanted a lady Dr. 2. she's written alot of articles about PCOS.  Unfortunately she's based out of Newport Beach and thats just to much of a hike for us. 
So I decided to go with the Fullerton office.  It's closer to home and even though the Dr is a man, he looks normal hahaha.  I think too that having a male will be easier when it comes to getting hubby to open up about his own issues.

The lady was super nice.  She said that since we have Kaiser our consultation would be free!  And the follow up ultrasounds will be 10% off.  OH HAPPY DAY!

So it's done, I've booked our first fertility consultation for January 24, 2013.

Good News and other things

So here's the dish...sorry its a day late, but I do work ya know.

First things first, I wasn't going to weigh in yesterday because of Flo and water weight, but I did and I'm glad I did.  I had a loss of 2.4 lbs.  BOO-YAH!  That made me so happy, especially because of my little loss last week and that I tried SO hard even with my 9 point coffee hehe.  We are now at a total of 5 1/2 lbs down.  I got my little *bravo star* in my book but didn't stay at the meeting for any announcements.  I'm determined to have no "gains" in my 16 week book.

Speaking of Aunt Flo, she came at day 32 this month.  Not bad.  Way better than 48 or not at all. Hopefully with the continued weight loss I'll get down to and maintain 28 days.

Here are my tips from last week:
1. DON'T put the creamy chocolate shake mix in your coffee.  It does NOT taste like a mocha.  My team leader LIED.

2. The best meal I cooked was grilled chicken and vegetables covered in mozzarella and a half cup of marinara for 10 points!  I now found a light provolone at target thats 1 pt.  Going to try that next.

3. Fav Finds: Skinny Cow Mocha Truffle Bars for 3 points and WW Dark Chocolate Raspberry Ice Cream Bars for 2 points.  Got both at target.

What really helped me is tracking.  I'm trying to make it a game, see how much food you can get for the least points.  Its the first thing I do in the morning when I get to work.  I also started taking my dog Coco for short 15 minute walks.  Since it rained half of last week it was short lived, but I plan on getting back on track.  I had taken him to a dog trainer for jumping and she told me that he needed to be walked to exhaust his brain.  Works for me.

Here is my Puppy Love.

In other news...I was with my friend on Monday night (had to pick up my lunch bag) and her Mom was there, she works with insurance, we'll call her Nana P.   A few months back neither myself or hubby had health insurance and I was calling around to get pricing on coverage.  In my quest I had been asking about infertility/pregnancy coverage and kept getting shot down.  We now have Kaiser through Hubby's work and I was afraid if we used a RE (reproductive endocronologist ie. fertility dr) that the pregnancy wouldnt be covered.  Which is partially why I was thinking in desperation to go to Mexico.  Thankfully I asked Nana P about what these insurance reps were telling me.  She explained that Independant coverage can deny you where as group coverage will cover it. She encouraged me to call Kaiser today and find out what exactly they will cover. 

And thats exactly what I did (about 30 minutes ago).  In short I now know that we are not covered for fertility treatments under our current plan, but that I can see my Kaiser drs OR go to the HRC and once we do get pregnant they WILL cover the pregnancy.   This is a hugh relief.  I am a glutten for punishment/worry I guess, because I keep reading these blogs and now on the WW site there are MORE blogs about women who've gone through all this crap.  I really thought IUI was the way to go, but the more I read I'm seeing that these poor women are going for 6, 7, 8 failed treatments and eventually going to IVF anyway.  I don't want to pay for each IUI and have it end up being a waste/costing the same as 1 IVF.  I still dont know which way to go, but I'm glad I can now get this ball rolling and that I can finance it either way at the HRC.

Crab Apple

And I was doing SO well yesterday until I got home...

I guess I should preface this with the fact that I live in an apartment that is attached to my parents home. 

So I get home from work and I'm enjoying the blissful silence of my home when I hear my mom talking through my window asking what I was up to and if she could come over...  UHHH I guess so?

It seems that when Hubby is out of town it is my mom's duty to keep me company.   Well that turned into binging on some brownies and pulling out a bottle of wine.  Stress eat much?

Its not her fault.  I just wasn't in the mood to talk about my screw up brother...after he came home at 2 am and woke the neighbor hood with Coco's (my dog) incessant barking.  No I'm not bitter or sleep deprived.

I counted my loss of points...10 over my allotment.  thank goodness for those floater points.

Unfortunately the same 2 am appearance happened last night so it sent me into a tail spin of bad mood today. 
At work there is a man that sits behind me, I don't know if he's Persian or Israeli, but he always offers up food from his home land.  I've done my best to avoid him but today I felt like I was utterly insulting him by not accepting his candy.  It was just a bite.  A bite of DOOM.  When he went to lunch I got the box off his desk and whipped out my point calculator.  A whopping 5 points! All these grapes and cucumbers and I waste 5 points on that? 

So then the other thing that's bummed me out today is that out of curiosity I googled my blog name to see what would come up.  I came up with someone with the same blog name in England, cool right?  She's actually a really good writer and really funny.  The bummer part she's had a terrible time with fertility and 4 failed IVF's.  From her blog I found other blogs with sad story's.  I really just wanted to stay in my hopeful bubble. 

I'm sorry about my funk...I hope to have better sleep tonight.  Other wise someones going to die.

Starting off November with a Bang

Today is weigh in day....my first of many to come.

"Drum roll please"  This week I lost 3 lbs! 

I have to say I'm a little elated because I did exactly what I was told not to do, weigh myself.  Not only that but I did it like every day.  And my scale only showed a 1.5 loss. As my WW leader says the only scale that matters is this one. So I'm going to stop weighing and just be surprised on Mondays.

Tricks I love this week:
1. Greek yogurt, tastes good high protein low points.  My friend showed me how to make tzakiki too.  Amazing.

2. Hummus and Cucumber, delish crunchy snack.

3. Using flavored olive oil in tuna instead of mayo.  It was SO good, I used a tsp of basil flavored EVOO in my tuna with onion, pickles, celery and a little mustard.  I stuffed 2 sandwich flats and had a totally satisfying lunch.

I also bought a pomegranate, my mom showed me how to knock out all the little gems.  I juiced them and added some to my green smoothie this morning.  SUPER sweet.

This morning I found out that one of my long time dearest friends is ALSO doing WW.  She just joined the week before me and I'm so excited that we can encourage one another.

My 5% goal is 13 lbs. I'm really hoping to be down 20 lbs by January. The community center that my ww meeting is at has a small gym.  I used to go about a year ago and I really like it.  I dont feel overwhelmed by the equipment and I love the classes they offer.  Anyhoo...they are offering 50% off the monthly membership in Janurary so it will be $14 instead of 28.  This is going to be my treat for acheiving my first goal so I can keep the momentum going.

After reading the PCOS blog, getting a big eye opener on the process and a little more research, I've determined that IUI is going to be the best course for us.  This also ties into my January goal.  I made a deal with Hubby to follow through with the consultation at the HRC (Huntington Reproductive Center) so they can give me a current status on my ovaries and do a work up on him too.  Its time to jump in.  Next year I'm determined to be a Mother.

Hubby is out of town this week for work.  I got the cleaning bug yesterday and purged his dresser and closet.  Got a nice little donation pile for the good will.  I also ironed the big pile of dress shirts I've been avoiding for about a month.  Now I actually know what he has and needs.  I'm hoping to give the bathroom a good scrub tonight and dust.  Then I'll have a chore free house for the rest of the week which means I will have time to scrapbook! guilt free.

I have a baby shower invite job to get crackin on too.  I have till the end of November to pump out 75. Woo..

One, Two, Three...

Ok so since my last "poor me" post I've actually accomplished somethings...

One...on Monday I officially joined weight watchers and went to my first meeting.  Thankfully my scale and theirs is the same so the number wasn't shocking...I was pre-shocked at home lol.  I love the new point system, it totally makes sense that the values should be determined by how your body digests foods.  I got the app on my phone, super handy and easy to use.  I love the web site and I actually get excited to track my food.  I'm actually looking forward to getting weighed next Monday!

Wednesday I popped over to TJ Max and bought myself a new lunch bag.  It's my little way to go you did something good for yourself treat, that and Hubby lost my old one.

Two...I started taking my herbs.  I called to find out my dosing, some went up and some went down and one got dropped all together.  I started taking them Tuesday morning because I altogether forgot on Monday.  So far, I feel like crap and they are making me burp some weird clove/Cinnamon flavor,  I know that my stomach will need time to adjust. The last time I took them I felt great with in 2 weeks.  I have a follow up call on Nov 12 to see how things are going. 

Three...I decided to drop coffee.  Its bad for you, bad for me more so because I cant take the caffeine.  It really screws me over on top of my insomnia.  Plus its 5-7 points the way I like to drink it with cream and sugar.  My next big feat will be to drop the diet coke.  I had stopped it for a while and was drinking juice instead but now that's out because of the sugar....baby steps.

I started reading a blog about someone else's trials and accomplishments with PCOS.  I think its funny reading about how someone else has done all the things I'm doing including wasting time at work googling any and everything about fertility and blogging about it.  She's a real person, with the same real problem and real anxiety who has twin girls today.  It makes me feel good and inspired and not alone to read it.  I even emailed her today, we'll see if I get a response.

I'm still reading the beauty detox book.  Slowly but surely.  Good thing is that it follows the same principles as weight watchers so it will be easy to incorporate.

I've also started knitting again.  I'm working diligently on some baby scarves for my friends visit to NY this winter.  I'm very excited I just learned how to make a button hole.  My next you tube video will be on how to crochet chevron stripes!!

I feel good.

Something's gotta give

Its amazing the rejuvenating property's wine and the ocean can have...

Our trip was a success.  Husband did a really nice job in picking the hotel with a ocean view.  We joined 2 wine clubs in the attempt to become grown ups LOL. 

Nothing much has changed in this month.  I got my herbs but I haven't started taking them.  Boo on me.  I just called to find out what dose I'm supposed to take. They are sitting on my kitchen counter wagging a finger of shame at me.

I jumped on the scale this past weekend and heard it cry "Uncle".  I've gained another 10 lbs, bringing my grand total to a unmentionable number.  Its disheartening because its the main thing I have to do, LOSE weight. If TTC isnt enough to drive me what is? One of my really good friends just joined weight watchers and asked if I would go with her.  Ironically I got a email from work saying they offered a discount to join in a effort to promote healthy life styles.  I decided to give it a shot again.  I heard there was a new point plan and I'm not doing anything better so why not?   

I was channel surfing last night and stumbled across an episode of sex in the city.  It was the episode where Miranda is pregnant and is thinking of not having the baby and Charlotte finds out she has a 15% chance of getting pregnant because she has a hostile uterus.  Parts of it made me want to bawl like a baby.  I swallowed down my tears so my husband wouldn't look at me like a lunatic.  It made me think about going to the HRC for a consultation. I have all the paperwork but havent followed through with an appointment because of the cost.  The only doctor I've seen is my Gyn. so it might be a good call to get another opinion on how to move forward.  Who knows?  What if I have a hostile uterus on top of the PCOS? 

We have also talked about potentially seeing a dr in Mexico.  When Husband went to his dr to get checked out the dr refused to check his hormone/testosterone levels because of his age.  He basically said we've looked at to many things online and wouldnt look into it further.  I would never go to Mexico on my own.  We actually got a recomendation from a friend who offered to go with us.  I dont even speak spanish!  I guess more on that later.

Back in August I had bought this book the beauty detox solution.  I skipped around it a bunch, now that I've finished reading the hunger games trilogy I'm going to force myself to read it cover to cover.  From what I have read it makes sense how she recommends to eat.  I've been drinking the glowing green smoothie and its pretty good.  I even have husband drinking it. 

Somethings gotta give....I need to get back on track.



Ovu-on time!

Hello again...

Just checked out my "stats" and looks like I've had some readers in Germany, Austrailia, Russia, Ireland and the US.  This both baffles and excites me. 

As promised I'm picking up in my story at Oct 2011.  I had spent the rest of July, Aug and Sept watching my food intake closely and joining the community center gym with my co worker/friend.  It was nice to see the scale dropping and my cycle getting regular.  In my last appt (July) the dr had told me just because I have a period doesnt mean I'm ovulating.  She had drawn me a chart like this one, only my labs had show my FSH and LH were completly the opposite levels than they should be (to low) and my testosterone was way to high.

"FSH and LH are two hormones secreted by the pituitary gland in the brain during the menstrual cycle. Blood levels of these hormones are often tested to determine how your ovaries are functioning. FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone) is released when estrogen levels are low. During a regular menstrual cycle, FSH levels begin to rise sharply midcycle, a day or two before ovulation. FSH stimulates the ovary to ripen a follicle, and, with the help of a spike in LH (luteinizing hormone), to release an egg. After that, FSH and LH levels fall off and progesterone levels rise as your uterus prepares for pregnancy or another period."

http://www.womentowomen.com/understandyourbody/tests/luteinizinghormone.aspx

In simple terms, my eggs were not getting the hormones they needed to grow and be released.  Theoretically every month that my cycle got more regular meant my hormones could be balancing out on their own and I would have more potential to ovulate.  So this got me curious about the ovulation perdictor kits I'd seen at Target and the calendars I've seen online.  I started with this:

The instructions seemed simple enough. I tried it with frustrating results and ended up going back over the instructions just in case I was doing it wrong.  Low and behold...the fine print, under limitations of test.

"Certain medical conditions may adversely affect the reliability of this test for predicting ovulation. These include pregnancy, postpartum, post-abortion, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), ovarian cysts, the onset of menopause, and untreated hypothyroidism. Women with medically diagnosed fertility problems should consult their physicians before using this product."

A little disheartened but still determined I continued my web search.  I wish I could find the blog today, maybe you will in your own search...but one lady in particular really helped me.  She had written about her own experience and made up a chart showing all the pros and cons of each ovulation predictor kit.  In the end I chose the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor, it seemed to fit my needs the best. 

• Typically identifies up to 6 fertile days
• Most advanced way of tracking your most fertile days – the only non-invasive method that detects both LH and estrogen hormones
• 100% natural and non-invasive
• Suitable for women with regular and irregular periods

Horray!! Hallelujah!! Finally!! It cost a pretty penny though so I bid for it on ebay and I'm so glad I did.

When you use a typical ovulation calculator online (I confess I love babycenter.com) the results really vary.  Most were telling me that I would ovulate on the 11th day of a 28 day cycle.  According to my handy dandy monitor I was really ovulating on the 14th day.   Thats a pretty cruitial 3 day lapse, basically I was trying to concieve way to early in the month and totally missing my window.   If you have tried over a year to get pregnant I really recommend you look into this monitor for piece of mind.

The first time I used the monitor was Sept 2011 and was so relieved to see that it worked!  I showed a increase in my estrogen levels at the right time and it picked up on my ovulation.  Finally some relief.  I used the monitor successfully through Dec 2011.  Then all of a sudden my cycle jumped from 28 to 35 days and the monitor stopped detecting signs of hormone flux.

Back to the drawing board....

Next in line...

I tried using the monitor for the first 3 months of 2012. My cycle was anywhere between 34-36 days and the readings were all over the place.  It would pick up the rise in estrogen but never the LH.  Let me tell you those test strips aren't cheap!  In March I decided to try a new approach.  Two personal friends of mine had used Chinese medicine to conceive successfully.   I seriously thought it was a bunch of mumbo jumbo and resisted looking into it for a long time.  Feeling deflated I figured what could it hurt to try?  So I finally looked at the website with a open mind.  Some of the story's were down right incredible.  I made the phone call and spoke with a nice lady named Julie.  We talked for a long time about everything I'd been through thus far, she was very soothing friendly and reassuring.   I learned all kinds of interesting things on how to eat for your body and how blood flow works.  She started me on a regimen of Balance, Thinkers Tonic and Digestive Energizer.  Apparently I'm a "cold" person, so she wanted me to start the morning with warm water and lemon to get me going.  In about a week I felt great.  I was no longer sleepy during the day, I was sleeping better at night.  My mood was lifted.  It was a really nice change.

Unfortunately as life goes...I lost my job at the end of April so I wasnt able to stay with my new routine.

Happily though I got my job back!  I started up in August, so I was just able to purchase a new round of herbs and I cant wait to start taking them again.  I added Super Fertility #1 to my list.

Also happy to report for the first time in 9 months my cycle is back to 28 days!  Hopeful, I used the last of my test strips in September to see if it would read any LH.  It didnt.  But I'm ok with that, I know its still a work in progress. 

Tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary.  We're celebrating with a weekend trip to Santa Barbara.  I want to reflect on my blessings in life.  I have a great loving and supportive husband.

Get a cup of coffee, it's a LONG story

I guess the best place to start this story is way back in February 2004.  One of my best friends was getting married and my bridesmaid dress had just arrived, imagine my horror that it didn’t fit!  How had I gained so much weight in such a short amount of time???  Little did I know that at 23 yrs old that this was the beginning of the end as far as weight loss goes.  I joined weight watchers for the first time and thankfully was able to drop enough to get into that dress.

Let’s fast forward to Sept 2005, I went to Massachusetts to visit my then boyfriend (now husband) for 8 weeks.   When I got home my mother’s jaw dropped, she brought it to my attention that I had “blown up”.   I jumped on the scale and there it was…35 lbs heavier.   Freaked out I went to the doctor and told her about my rapid weight gain and struggles to keep it off in the past.  After a couple rounds of blood tests and a recommendation to the endocrinologist it was determined that I have PCOS.  

Well what the heck is that??

Clinical Definition:

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is one of the most common female endocrine disorders. PCOS is a complex, heterogeneous disorder of uncertain etiology, but there is strong evidence that it can to a large degree be classified as a genetic disease.

PCOS produces symptoms in approximately 5% to 10% of women of reproductive age (12–45 years old). It is thought to be one of the leading causes of female infertility and the most frequent endocrine problem in women of reproductive age.

The principal features are anovulation, resulting in irregular menstruation, amenorrhea, ovulation-related infertility, and polycystic ovaries; excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones, resulting in acne and hirsutism (excessive hairiness); and insulin resistance, often associated with obesity, Type 2 diabetes, and high cholesterol levels. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among affected women.

(Thank you Wikipedia)

Awesome right?  Doesn’t every woman dream of being fat and hairy?  Not to mention Acne.

My Dr put me on the pill to regulate my periods, suggested I go back to weight watchers, handed me a pamphlet on my condition and kindly showed me the door.    I left feeling confused and over whelmed, but at least I had a name for what was going on.

Jump on over to May 2006, my first encounter with a ovarian cyst.  For months I had a dull stabbing pain in my abdomen, it finally had gotten to the point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore and wanted to know what was happening.   My Dr sent me to get a ultrasound so she could check out my uterus and ovaries.   Have you ever had an internal ultrasound?  Talk about AWKWARD!  So the technician is turning the screen and looking at it from every angle taking pictures and looking so serious.  I keep asking what she’s looking at and her response is you’ll have to talk to your physician for the results.  Argh.  She’s finished, I’m getting dressed and staring at the screen trying to figure out what the heck is in the grey blob.  Driving home I get a gut wrenching stabbing pain.  So bad I think I’m going to pass out, so I pull over until it subsides and slowly make my way home.   When I finally see my Dr for the follow up results I tell her what happened and she says simply “you had a slow leaking cyst, it must have burst.”  I’m sitting there nodding but really thinking “CYST?  BURST?  WHAT?”  as she goes on to tell me that she’s more interested in what the ultrasound showed…"your uterus and ovaries are healthy….. and you’ve ovulated."

I thought that’s what we wanted?

“well, we have you on the pill, so you should not be ovulating”

So what does that mean?

“you know on the packaging where it tells you 99% effective?  Well you fall into the 1% that will still ovulate and can get pregnant while taking the pill”

WHAT?

“it’s rare but it does happen.  You’ll just have to be extra careful until you’re ready to have children.”

At this point I’m thinking are you freaking kidding me?  Which is it?  Can I or can I not have children?

I tell this whole scenario to Boyfriend and he says “can’t they put you on extra pills?” 

This ladies and gentlemen is how 27 yr old men think.

                Between 2007 and 2009 my weight went up and down like a yo-yo, I did weight watchers 2 more times (and in hindsight I do believe this is the best way) but didn’t stick, next was nutri system (expensive and disgusting), the lemon maple cayenne cleanse (burnt my throat), south beach, atkins and probably numerous others I don’t remember at the moment.

                March 2009 we got engaged!   August rolled around and wouldn’t you know it, my wedding dress didn’t fit.  With 3 months till my wedding my sister told me about HCG.  This diet was probably my most extreme.  I gave myself injections and stayed on a strict 500 calorie diet of lean meat and veggies.  I lost 45 lbs and I got into my dress (size 14).   But settling into married life, cooking and baking cupcakes (I LOVE CUPCAKES) led to gaining it all back plus more. 

                October 2010 Husband took me to Hawaii for our 1 yr anniversary.  I just started a new job, we had insurance, I had turned 29 a few months earlier…and my baby clock was SERIOUSLY ticking.  After some serious convincing of the Husband… June 2011 I went back to the Dr to get a whole new panel done (I hadn’t had a period since January and that was ON the pill, I got off the pill in April), see how things were looking on the inside and have her bring Husband up to speed on how the whole baby making process SHOULD work, she drew us some charts and this is where it all went to HELL.   “You’re not ovulating regularly, your eggs are not forming correctly, they’re not viable.  I can recommend a fertility specialist, they can prescribe Clomid to help stimulate the egg growth….BUT your blood pressure is too high,  you really need to lose weight to carry a healthy pregnancy, you’re in danger of having gestational diabetes and hyper tension if you do get pregnant and I really would not recommend you try at this time.”

I felt like all the air just got sucked out of the room.  Crushed.

The new plan was to 1. Take some progesterone to jump start the period 2. really stick to losing weight so that my body would naturally get back in sync, my blood pressure would lower and I wouldn’t have to get on any medication.

Step one worked.  Thankfully it’s been an entire year now with a cycle every month.  Who ever thought they’d be excited to get their period, NOT ME!!!  Haha.

Step two we’re still working on…but my blood pressure has come down so that’s good.

Since this post is SO long I’ll stop now, my next post will pick up at October 2011.