Recovery

Mentally

It took me a while to wrap my brain around what happened and figure out how to write this post.
Dr. Potter felt very optimistic that he would save/repair the left side.  He did tell us that there's always a chance that they will find a surprise when they got inside.  My gut told me they were going to have to take both but my heart was stuck on the hope that it would be repaired and I'd have a shot some day at doing this the "normal" way.



When I heard the hospital staff talking outside my room, I thought well this sucks. I knew it.
After I'd fully come out of anesthesia I asked my recovery nurse to make sure I wasn't hearing things.
The nurse confirmed yes and then my loving husband told me the rest.

Dr. Potter met with him while I was sleeping.  When they opened me up the left side was considerably more damaged than the scan had shown.  They preformed another HSG to see where the dye would flood to double check the results.  The left end was completely sealed no dye could pass and it was extremely enlarged, to the point it was translucent.  The right side was able to have some dye go through but it was beyond repair, also being enlarged and blown out.  Imagine blowing up a balloon to the point where you could see though it and its almost about to pop.  If it had been left in there would be a serious risk of ectopic pregnancy and losing it anyway.  My uterus and ovaries look great though.

So this is the hard part, there is no more hope for one day thinking I'm late I might be pregnant or let's try to have another baby.  It will always have to be clinical, calculated, frustrating and Stinking Expensive.  My brain tells me "you couldn't get pregnant with your tubes anyway."  But my heart screams "this isn't fair, I don't want to pay for a child, I just want to be normal."

It took about 4 days to sink in.  There was the Ugly Cry, I sobbed in the dark and my husband rubbed my back and repeated "I understand".

Physically

When we left the hospital it was 3:30.  I slept the whole way home, was put in bed and woke up at 6:30.  Hubby had gone to pick up my meds and left my mom to babysit.  I requested tortilla soup and she delivered.  Funny how mom's are; she made sure I had my robe and slippers, pillows and a step stool to reach my high bed.

There were flowers, magazines and cards.  Lunch and Dinners brought.  Hot cocoa and RUM. Yes, my friends know me well.

My sister made me this amazing basket, it was so beautiful and pink.  I was genuinely touched and started sobbing.  Like uncontrollably. What can I say? It was a rough week.

I had two incisions in my belly button, one right above my pelvic bone and one directly over my right ovary.  They taped me up from here to kingdom come!  Like my entire stomach.  I was told to leave them on until my post op (a FULL week) and to sleep sitting up.  My anesthesiologist told me that they were going to blow up my abdomen with gas and it usually ends up trapped in the shoulders.  He was not kidding.  I had so much pain in my right shoulder it felt like someone was trying to rip my arm off.  What do you do when you cant move your tummy?  You use other parts like your back and arms to maneuver yourself.  Well every time I would move my arm it would shift that bubble and blind me with pain.  At some points I literally screamed.  It was way worse than the actual incisions!

They were just sore and itchy.  My bandages didn't last 9 days, by day 5 I was dying to take them off and let my skin breath.  Hubby used to be a EMT, he got me waterproof bandages and got me all set up so I could take a decent shower (which was Amazing).

When I had my post op Dec 10, Dr. Potter confirmed what happened in surgery and showed me the pictures.  He looked at my incisions, all were healing well but one.  Apparently my body was rejecting the stitches and pushing them back through my skin!  Frankin-stitches. He had to get his tweezers and pull it out!  It didn't hurt but it did freak me out.

He then gave me the A OK to proceed with IVF.  We met with Janet to get our list of meds and made a appointment with the financial person Julie.  We also had both our blood drawn for genetic screening, we will not be screening our embryos.  More big decisions ahead.



Hot Air Balloon - Baby shower

One of my very good friends enlisted my help and the power of Pinterest to through an amazing shower for a bouncing baby boy.

We started out by agreeing that bottles, blocks and trucks have been done to death.  After scouring pinterest for shower ideas we had both pinned this little guy:

 

After scanning the directions we dove head first into this little project with a mandatory trip to Michaels.  Of course I had to open my big mouth with "you know what would look really cute?  A big one and a little one side by side"

 

Should have read the directions more closely.  Alas hindsight is 50/50.

 

It took me a couple tries, a few curse words under my breath, the engineering of my husband and a trusty measuring tape but did these come out cute or what??

 

With 6 of us on the decorating committee we were able to knock them out in about a week.

All packed away nice and cozy

Making a debut the day of the shower

To add a little more whimsy we hung hot air balloons and clouds from the trees

 

We ordered our banner here on Etsy, the shop owner was amazing and totally worked with me on the design and how we wanted to feel of the shower.  We also got matching balloon cupcake toppers pictured below.

 

My friend Joi Lawler over at Cake Mix created our lovely lemon cake based on this design; as well as the balloon and cloud sugar cookies.

 

Even if your having a boy, there's nothing like adding a little sparkle.

Down to the very last dreamy cloud detail, I'm pretty sure this shower was a hit!

 

August

Hey look who's cranking out the posts to catch up, I'm so close!

August was a slightly less busy month, but it was also one of our hottest.  My office hadn't had any blinds installed and this my friends is what happens to glue left in the sun.  It got so hot it exploded past the lid! 

My boss went out of town, took his kids to Disney world and left his work kids behind.  When the cats away the nice will foil everything on in and around his desk.

Aug 8-10

We had a special visit from this little lady and her parents who were passing through on their way home to Arizona.  We hung out for the weekend and got our nails done.

Aug 11

Aileen's Baby shower

My childhood bestie did a wonderful job for our friend and soon to be here baby rainn.  Vintage country and hot air balloon theme.  Really nice summer night with the girls.  I'm really happy how my photography came out too!

Me and some of my nearest and dearest.

Aug 16 Chix w Stix

I had intended our little group to meet every 2 months or so. But we all get busy and I dropped the ball...of yarn (baddum dum) So this was only our second meeting for the year haha.  There was a nice spread of wine and app, by now you know we know how to eat!  It's always interesting to see how everyone one knows each other and who we all have in common. 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon in our JW community is more like 3 degrees  haha. 

Aug 17 Hubby took me out for the day to Laguna beach to check out the Sawdust festival.  Beautiful weather and very relaxing we stopped off and had a coffee and visited a cupcake shop in Newport, drove around down town and perused the festival. They had Beatles cover bands (my fav) and hubby bought me a new toe ring. Then there was spur of the moment dinner with our good friends and our wedding photographers the Napier's.   The boys totally catered to us making steak and lobster!

Aug 30 District Convention 

Our yearly summer assembly, had the privilege of manning the ATM contribution table with my heart of hearts sister/friend.

So much fun, of course I had to get my yearly pic with the boys too. 

July - Summer in Full Swing

July 1-4 Vegas Baby
Our friends Molly and Andrew came to visit from Mexico.  We hardly ever get to see them so we took this opportunity to treat them to a weekend away.

I can't post all the pictures so here's the highlights:

We played sequence with m&ms for board pieces while making up a new guessing game called I Am. You can only ask yes or no questions to figure out what item you are (determined by opposing team), trust me this is hilarious especially when your drinking....err juice. 

We walked through the endless casinos playing/posing with novelty items like gigantic necklaces. 

We found a place that served deep fried lobster tail and lobster ice cream, tried both.  

Ate dinner at a country bar that had a disco bull.  Went to the aquarium at the Mandalay hotel, where I met a piranha and Andrew had his head in the mouth of a alligator.  Stuffed ourselves at a Brazilian buffet with the best chimichuri I've ever tasted.  Saw Vegas the show compliments of our time share.  Did lots of shopping.  Walked the strip at night then has midnight sushi.  Woke up late shopped some more, had lunch and enormous dessert at Serendipity 3.

July 18-20

I took advantage of a miss scheduling at work and some time share points that needed booking and took a little trip to Palm Springs.  It was intended to be a relaxing craft weekend but it didn't turn out like that with a 2 yr old in tow.  We did have a good time watching movies, playing in the pool and getting our toes done. 

Then rush right home for Taryn's recital and Aileen's baby shower....

Show ran till almost 7 pm, didn't make the shower went home to crash instead.

July 21 Family Dinner

Our first time having the whole family over since moving to the house.  Like my Brady bunch pic? My parents, grandparents, aunt, cousin, sister, bro in law and his parents...the whole kit and caboodle.

My grandparents have an affinity for grilling; my potato salad came out so good the first time that I made it again with traditional BBQ baked beans corn and burgers!  We also had mason jar margaritas and pineapple upside down cake.

I love my hubby 

July 27
No Shoes Nation tour

One if the best concerts ever! Eli Young Band, Eric Church, Kenny Chesney, my little country head was about to explode!  Hubby bought me a "crazy girl" baseball tee, I love it so much I'm having a hard time not over wearing it lol.

July 30

Turned 32, mom brought me some delicious perfume.

June 2013

I'm so behind and my OCD won't let me blog out of order!  I have half a mind to just scrap these missed months posts but I don't want to forget these little moments so I'll try to blow through these to get to the meaty stuff. 

June 8

Alyssa's grad party

Remember in mays post the madness that was my desk?  That was the creation of little Missy's graduation gift of a years worth of photos and mementos her mama cleverly snuck away.  I was glad to provide my artistic abilities.

June 14

Book club

Ms. Lindsay did an amazing job with our china themed party.  She choose the book Shanghai Girls by Lisa See.  The details in the book were so intricate you could picture everything.  It was so emotional and raw, incredible page turner, I had to get the second book because I had to know what was going to happen next!

As always we do what we do best eat, talk, kiss babies, eat, talk and eat some more!

June 16

The entire month of May my sister and her hubby were touring Europe. (Yes jealous!)

We had them over for Sunday dinner, I made my first ham and tried my hand at grandma's potato salad.  I did pretty darn good too.  My lovely sister brought me these delightful goodies, soap from Paris, bowls from Italy bracelets from Spain.  All in my favorite color, aqua!  It looked so pretty like this I left it to display in my book shelf.  

June  22-23

Yearly I put on a craft day which has affectionately become known as CYBO (craft your brains out) for 10 delirious hours of crafting food and games.  I normally to do it at a local high school in a big room but my connection retired so we were on the hunt for a new location.  Only problem is we were so used to the nice accommodations and being free is a big plus!  Another change this year was that I now have a house to host in, so I took the challenge of fitting 15 crafters between 3 rooms. 

I think these girls look pretty happy.

Blur of May

Sunday May 4

Well we kicked off May with a Air Show at my work.  I took my favorite boys, Hubby, my Dad and Ryan along with some of his friends.   I work on a small airport that was hosting this show, so we got free front row seats.  It was so cute watching the boys get so excited at each taxiing plane.

I let each of them have a turn taking pictures, made sure they were really careful using the neck strap and all…

The best part was everyone got to get into our helicopter, play with the buttons and wear the head sets.

Look at these beaming faces!

Then the party foul happened.  When we were packing up to leave my hands were full of bags, chairs, food etc.  Somehow I let the camera strap slip and dropped it right on its face! 

Thankfully just the UV filter broke and not the actual lens.  So grateful that the camera guy suggested we buy the filter for just this reason!  The next day at work I had to have one of the guys in the shop break loose the filter because it bent on the threads.  OUCH.  Still no damage to the actual lens, which is amazing. 

On our way home Dad Ryan and I made up a song about Ryan’s Floppy band aid from a cut he’d gotten earlier in the morning.   Maybe you had to be there but it was super funny to us…. Remember Ryan’s 9.

Floppy band aid came from my dad

Floppy band aid it’s all he had

Floppy band aid made from a tree

Floppy band aid it protects me

Floppy band aid I pick at it so much

Floppy band aid it hurts to touch

Floppy band aid my skin is white

Floppy band aid I’m glad it’s night

Floppy band aid covers my scab

Floppy band aid is such a drag

Floppy band aid don’t know what to do

Floppy band aid it lost its glue

Floppy band aid I started to rub

Floppy band aid came off in the tub

Floppy band aid I got a new cut

Floppy band aid it’s on my Butt!

Saturday May 8
My desk looked like this pretty much the entire month of May.

I've been helping a friend make a memory book of her daughter Senior year as a graduation project.  It's a surprise so everything stays at my house. 

This shot of Zoe cracks me up.  She's such a clingy little bugger, always under foot.  I always tell them "go outside, be a dog!"  She found out that she can hop up on the flower bed and peek into the window to see what I'm doing.

Tuesday May 14
My Dad turned 55 today.  We don't celebrate birthdays, but I still think turning 55 is pretty cool.  Nice even number.  I love my Dad.  He's my favorite guy in the whole world next to my husband.  I got him a nice card at trader joes, it had a cute retro 50's dad on the cover saying "Fatherhood, Someone's gotta do it" for father's day but blank in side.  Wrote him a little thank you note for being such a great Dad and bought him some cupcakes.  If you know my Dad, you'd know he has a insane sweet tooth.

Saturday May 18

We had our first bon fire of the summer.  I saw this commercial, have not clue what it was actually for but it had smores in it and I thought "Mmmmmmm Smores" and quickly sent out a mass text for our friends to come over for cards and a fire.

We had a really nice group of young couples with lots of kiddos. 18 in total.  We all started out around the fire pit, but eventually the guys split to play poker and the girls stayed talking about babies and the latest news. 

Even grown up boys are dumb.  My friends husband toasted a mashmallow on his finger.

Gave the kids glow bracelets and flashlights and let them go nuts.

All in all it was a great night and every one went home happy and full of sugar.

May 24

We started our trip to Seattle and Canada for my parents 36 yr Anniversary.  There's so many pix for that it needs a whole seperate post.

Aprils Missed Post

I know its been a really long time, nearly 3 whole months since I've blogged.  We've just had a lot going on that I'll get into in another post.  In the mean time I notice that this little post never got to make its debut in April. 

Friday April 12

I hosted book club at my house for the first time.  I picked my favorite book ever, The Glass Lake by Maeve Binchy.  It's set between London and a small town in Ireland so I picked pub food for the theme.

I found this super cute little tea pot at World Market, reminded me of Big Ben.  I sat it on a stack of books by the same author and set out some teas.

What's more Pub like than a little beer?  Whilst at World Market I asked for a recommendation on Irish beers, I'm definately not a cono sur of any sort.  I was told that Wexford's was a cross between a blonde beer and cream soda, Delish!  Sounded like it would go great over vanilla ice cream, so I got everything in place for Beer Floats!!

We had a small showing, a quaint group of 4 got to sit around the kitchen table and drink wine. 

I found the best red I've ever tasted.  So not a red drinker, but this little baby was so smooth.

Along with our beer floats we had Pork and Cabbage sliders, Potatoes, Traditional meat pies and

soda bread with Dublin butter.

YUM

Saturday April 13

Our local scrap store closed (sad face) on the last day of March.  I'd really grown attached to the lady's that worked there in the past 5 years.  The only good part is that I totally scored on the going out of business sale and stocked up on supplies.  I even got a hanging rack to beautifully display all my treasures (stickers, embellishments, etc)

I have a gigantic clear cookie jar that houses my ribbon stash.  Since it was a lazy movie watching afternoon I decided to copy a technique I learned from Paper Craft Princess Cindy and band my ribbons with strips of brown paper bag.  They look so much better now and I'm able to find things much easier than dumping out the whole jar.

Sunday April 14
Curly Hair dont Care & the coffee that gets the morning going.

April 21

Went to visit my sissy in San Clemente to get my hair done before she rendezvous off to Europe for a month! We enjoyed the sunshine, had a nice hawaiian dinner and she made these delicious drinks with milk, cinnamon and chocolate whip vodka!  I'm a sucker for mason jars and colorful straws so had to snap a pic.

April 28

We got Zoe Monster....which we talked about here.

Thats it for April, now I'll move on to the blur that was May.



Getting Knitty with it...

Na na na na na nana (in my best Will Smith voice)

I started a knitting club and this is why I was rushing to pull my house in some kind of decent order.

Saturday night had some of my girls over , my homies, BFF's, comadres, sisters, friends...to get their yarn on.  Everyone got a cute little owl bag to carry their projects, we came out with 6 new knitters and 2 new crocheters.  We had a ton of fun, wine and laughter.

The only down side for me is that I went WAY off the paleo wagon.  So far off that I stayed off all Sunday and Monday, bearly seeing the wagon wheels fade into the sunset haha.  I made enchiladas and beans, there was a abundance of appetizers and dessert!  Shamefully I put away the remaining pieces of tira misu last night.  I was hungry! So now we've rolled around to Tuesday and I'm having all these cravings for things I know I shouldnt be having.  Hubby will be leaving super early tomorrow for Arizona through Friday.  I gotta take those days to reset and get back on track.  Next Friday I'm hosting book club!  So now starts the search for some Paleo friendly munchies.