A tip from Audrey

I woke up in a good mood this morning.  Way better than the rest of my week has gone.  Maybe I'm getting over the mean carb deprived monster haha.  Anyway I was thinking about little Miss Audrey and how I love this quote:

Its true, I'm eating better and feeling better which means my happy pretty self can come out. 

Among other Audreyisms -

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm.
As you get older, remember you have another hand:
The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others.

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!

Paris is always a good idea!

While I may not make it to Paris any time soon New York is definately on the list! I was just speaking with my WW buddie "E" about having a goals and reward system. She'd made a deal with her hubby that if she got to her goal weight her ultimate prize would be a weekend in NY. Now I've pondered this, marinated on it for a good week and thought thats a great idea. What if we BOTH go to New York together???

I've never been to the city and I'm totally in love with the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's. So much so that it was the theme to my bridal shower. I would love to see time square, central park, broadway and go to the actual Tiffany's store where Audrey stood in front of the window. E and I both have 125 lbs to loose and its nice to talk and keep each other on track. I ran this by the hubs and he is on board. We decided to reevaluate this potential trip next October, a year from where we started, and see how close we actually are at meeting goal. Hopefully we will be going in the Spring of 2014.

Now I'm trying to come up with a good list of rewards for my loss's along the way.  E and I agreed that each 25 lbs would be a good marker.  All I know for sure is this Michael Kors Colgate Calfskin bag is going on the list!  I've been wanting it for quite a while now.  Drool.  I think it would be a great reward for 50 lbs.

I'm off to eat my healthy lunch, Tata for now...



Crab Apple

And I was doing SO well yesterday until I got home...

I guess I should preface this with the fact that I live in an apartment that is attached to my parents home. 

So I get home from work and I'm enjoying the blissful silence of my home when I hear my mom talking through my window asking what I was up to and if she could come over...  UHHH I guess so?

It seems that when Hubby is out of town it is my mom's duty to keep me company.   Well that turned into binging on some brownies and pulling out a bottle of wine.  Stress eat much?

Its not her fault.  I just wasn't in the mood to talk about my screw up brother...after he came home at 2 am and woke the neighbor hood with Coco's (my dog) incessant barking.  No I'm not bitter or sleep deprived.

I counted my loss of points...10 over my allotment.  thank goodness for those floater points.

Unfortunately the same 2 am appearance happened last night so it sent me into a tail spin of bad mood today. 
At work there is a man that sits behind me, I don't know if he's Persian or Israeli, but he always offers up food from his home land.  I've done my best to avoid him but today I felt like I was utterly insulting him by not accepting his candy.  It was just a bite.  A bite of DOOM.  When he went to lunch I got the box off his desk and whipped out my point calculator.  A whopping 5 points! All these grapes and cucumbers and I waste 5 points on that? 

So then the other thing that's bummed me out today is that out of curiosity I googled my blog name to see what would come up.  I came up with someone with the same blog name in England, cool right?  She's actually a really good writer and really funny.  The bummer part she's had a terrible time with fertility and 4 failed IVF's.  From her blog I found other blogs with sad story's.  I really just wanted to stay in my hopeful bubble. 

I'm sorry about my funk...I hope to have better sleep tonight.  Other wise someones going to die.

Starting off November with a Bang

Today is weigh in day....my first of many to come.

"Drum roll please"  This week I lost 3 lbs! 

I have to say I'm a little elated because I did exactly what I was told not to do, weigh myself.  Not only that but I did it like every day.  And my scale only showed a 1.5 loss. As my WW leader says the only scale that matters is this one. So I'm going to stop weighing and just be surprised on Mondays.

Tricks I love this week:
1. Greek yogurt, tastes good high protein low points.  My friend showed me how to make tzakiki too.  Amazing.

2. Hummus and Cucumber, delish crunchy snack.

3. Using flavored olive oil in tuna instead of mayo.  It was SO good, I used a tsp of basil flavored EVOO in my tuna with onion, pickles, celery and a little mustard.  I stuffed 2 sandwich flats and had a totally satisfying lunch.

I also bought a pomegranate, my mom showed me how to knock out all the little gems.  I juiced them and added some to my green smoothie this morning.  SUPER sweet.

This morning I found out that one of my long time dearest friends is ALSO doing WW.  She just joined the week before me and I'm so excited that we can encourage one another.

My 5% goal is 13 lbs. I'm really hoping to be down 20 lbs by January. The community center that my ww meeting is at has a small gym.  I used to go about a year ago and I really like it.  I dont feel overwhelmed by the equipment and I love the classes they offer.  Anyhoo...they are offering 50% off the monthly membership in Janurary so it will be $14 instead of 28.  This is going to be my treat for acheiving my first goal so I can keep the momentum going.

After reading the PCOS blog, getting a big eye opener on the process and a little more research, I've determined that IUI is going to be the best course for us.  This also ties into my January goal.  I made a deal with Hubby to follow through with the consultation at the HRC (Huntington Reproductive Center) so they can give me a current status on my ovaries and do a work up on him too.  Its time to jump in.  Next year I'm determined to be a Mother.

Hubby is out of town this week for work.  I got the cleaning bug yesterday and purged his dresser and closet.  Got a nice little donation pile for the good will.  I also ironed the big pile of dress shirts I've been avoiding for about a month.  Now I actually know what he has and needs.  I'm hoping to give the bathroom a good scrub tonight and dust.  Then I'll have a chore free house for the rest of the week which means I will have time to scrapbook! guilt free.

I have a baby shower invite job to get crackin on too.  I have till the end of November to pump out 75. Woo..

One, Two, Three...

Ok so since my last "poor me" post I've actually accomplished somethings...

One...on Monday I officially joined weight watchers and went to my first meeting.  Thankfully my scale and theirs is the same so the number wasn't shocking...I was pre-shocked at home lol.  I love the new point system, it totally makes sense that the values should be determined by how your body digests foods.  I got the app on my phone, super handy and easy to use.  I love the web site and I actually get excited to track my food.  I'm actually looking forward to getting weighed next Monday!

Wednesday I popped over to TJ Max and bought myself a new lunch bag.  It's my little way to go you did something good for yourself treat, that and Hubby lost my old one.

Two...I started taking my herbs.  I called to find out my dosing, some went up and some went down and one got dropped all together.  I started taking them Tuesday morning because I altogether forgot on Monday.  So far, I feel like crap and they are making me burp some weird clove/Cinnamon flavor,  I know that my stomach will need time to adjust. The last time I took them I felt great with in 2 weeks.  I have a follow up call on Nov 12 to see how things are going. 

Three...I decided to drop coffee.  Its bad for you, bad for me more so because I cant take the caffeine.  It really screws me over on top of my insomnia.  Plus its 5-7 points the way I like to drink it with cream and sugar.  My next big feat will be to drop the diet coke.  I had stopped it for a while and was drinking juice instead but now that's out because of the sugar....baby steps.

I started reading a blog about someone else's trials and accomplishments with PCOS.  I think its funny reading about how someone else has done all the things I'm doing including wasting time at work googling any and everything about fertility and blogging about it.  She's a real person, with the same real problem and real anxiety who has twin girls today.  It makes me feel good and inspired and not alone to read it.  I even emailed her today, we'll see if I get a response.

I'm still reading the beauty detox book.  Slowly but surely.  Good thing is that it follows the same principles as weight watchers so it will be easy to incorporate.

I've also started knitting again.  I'm working diligently on some baby scarves for my friends visit to NY this winter.  I'm very excited I just learned how to make a button hole.  My next you tube video will be on how to crochet chevron stripes!!

I feel good.

Something's gotta give

Its amazing the rejuvenating property's wine and the ocean can have...

Our trip was a success.  Husband did a really nice job in picking the hotel with a ocean view.  We joined 2 wine clubs in the attempt to become grown ups LOL. 

Nothing much has changed in this month.  I got my herbs but I haven't started taking them.  Boo on me.  I just called to find out what dose I'm supposed to take. They are sitting on my kitchen counter wagging a finger of shame at me.

I jumped on the scale this past weekend and heard it cry "Uncle".  I've gained another 10 lbs, bringing my grand total to a unmentionable number.  Its disheartening because its the main thing I have to do, LOSE weight. If TTC isnt enough to drive me what is? One of my really good friends just joined weight watchers and asked if I would go with her.  Ironically I got a email from work saying they offered a discount to join in a effort to promote healthy life styles.  I decided to give it a shot again.  I heard there was a new point plan and I'm not doing anything better so why not?   

I was channel surfing last night and stumbled across an episode of sex in the city.  It was the episode where Miranda is pregnant and is thinking of not having the baby and Charlotte finds out she has a 15% chance of getting pregnant because she has a hostile uterus.  Parts of it made me want to bawl like a baby.  I swallowed down my tears so my husband wouldn't look at me like a lunatic.  It made me think about going to the HRC for a consultation. I have all the paperwork but havent followed through with an appointment because of the cost.  The only doctor I've seen is my Gyn. so it might be a good call to get another opinion on how to move forward.  Who knows?  What if I have a hostile uterus on top of the PCOS? 

We have also talked about potentially seeing a dr in Mexico.  When Husband went to his dr to get checked out the dr refused to check his hormone/testosterone levels because of his age.  He basically said we've looked at to many things online and wouldnt look into it further.  I would never go to Mexico on my own.  We actually got a recomendation from a friend who offered to go with us.  I dont even speak spanish!  I guess more on that later.

Back in August I had bought this book the beauty detox solution.  I skipped around it a bunch, now that I've finished reading the hunger games trilogy I'm going to force myself to read it cover to cover.  From what I have read it makes sense how she recommends to eat.  I've been drinking the glowing green smoothie and its pretty good.  I even have husband drinking it. 

Somethings gotta give....I need to get back on track.



Ovu-on time!

Hello again...

Just checked out my "stats" and looks like I've had some readers in Germany, Austrailia, Russia, Ireland and the US.  This both baffles and excites me. 

As promised I'm picking up in my story at Oct 2011.  I had spent the rest of July, Aug and Sept watching my food intake closely and joining the community center gym with my co worker/friend.  It was nice to see the scale dropping and my cycle getting regular.  In my last appt (July) the dr had told me just because I have a period doesnt mean I'm ovulating.  She had drawn me a chart like this one, only my labs had show my FSH and LH were completly the opposite levels than they should be (to low) and my testosterone was way to high.

"FSH and LH are two hormones secreted by the pituitary gland in the brain during the menstrual cycle. Blood levels of these hormones are often tested to determine how your ovaries are functioning. FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone) is released when estrogen levels are low. During a regular menstrual cycle, FSH levels begin to rise sharply midcycle, a day or two before ovulation. FSH stimulates the ovary to ripen a follicle, and, with the help of a spike in LH (luteinizing hormone), to release an egg. After that, FSH and LH levels fall off and progesterone levels rise as your uterus prepares for pregnancy or another period."

http://www.womentowomen.com/understandyourbody/tests/luteinizinghormone.aspx

In simple terms, my eggs were not getting the hormones they needed to grow and be released.  Theoretically every month that my cycle got more regular meant my hormones could be balancing out on their own and I would have more potential to ovulate.  So this got me curious about the ovulation perdictor kits I'd seen at Target and the calendars I've seen online.  I started with this:

The instructions seemed simple enough. I tried it with frustrating results and ended up going back over the instructions just in case I was doing it wrong.  Low and behold...the fine print, under limitations of test.

"Certain medical conditions may adversely affect the reliability of this test for predicting ovulation. These include pregnancy, postpartum, post-abortion, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), ovarian cysts, the onset of menopause, and untreated hypothyroidism. Women with medically diagnosed fertility problems should consult their physicians before using this product."

A little disheartened but still determined I continued my web search.  I wish I could find the blog today, maybe you will in your own search...but one lady in particular really helped me.  She had written about her own experience and made up a chart showing all the pros and cons of each ovulation predictor kit.  In the end I chose the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor, it seemed to fit my needs the best. 

• Typically identifies up to 6 fertile days
• Most advanced way of tracking your most fertile days – the only non-invasive method that detects both LH and estrogen hormones
• 100% natural and non-invasive
• Suitable for women with regular and irregular periods

Horray!! Hallelujah!! Finally!! It cost a pretty penny though so I bid for it on ebay and I'm so glad I did.

When you use a typical ovulation calculator online (I confess I love babycenter.com) the results really vary.  Most were telling me that I would ovulate on the 11th day of a 28 day cycle.  According to my handy dandy monitor I was really ovulating on the 14th day.   Thats a pretty cruitial 3 day lapse, basically I was trying to concieve way to early in the month and totally missing my window.   If you have tried over a year to get pregnant I really recommend you look into this monitor for piece of mind.

The first time I used the monitor was Sept 2011 and was so relieved to see that it worked!  I showed a increase in my estrogen levels at the right time and it picked up on my ovulation.  Finally some relief.  I used the monitor successfully through Dec 2011.  Then all of a sudden my cycle jumped from 28 to 35 days and the monitor stopped detecting signs of hormone flux.

Back to the drawing board....

Next in line...

I tried using the monitor for the first 3 months of 2012. My cycle was anywhere between 34-36 days and the readings were all over the place.  It would pick up the rise in estrogen but never the LH.  Let me tell you those test strips aren't cheap!  In March I decided to try a new approach.  Two personal friends of mine had used Chinese medicine to conceive successfully.   I seriously thought it was a bunch of mumbo jumbo and resisted looking into it for a long time.  Feeling deflated I figured what could it hurt to try?  So I finally looked at the website with a open mind.  Some of the story's were down right incredible.  I made the phone call and spoke with a nice lady named Julie.  We talked for a long time about everything I'd been through thus far, she was very soothing friendly and reassuring.   I learned all kinds of interesting things on how to eat for your body and how blood flow works.  She started me on a regimen of Balance, Thinkers Tonic and Digestive Energizer.  Apparently I'm a "cold" person, so she wanted me to start the morning with warm water and lemon to get me going.  In about a week I felt great.  I was no longer sleepy during the day, I was sleeping better at night.  My mood was lifted.  It was a really nice change.

Unfortunately as life goes...I lost my job at the end of April so I wasnt able to stay with my new routine.

Happily though I got my job back!  I started up in August, so I was just able to purchase a new round of herbs and I cant wait to start taking them again.  I added Super Fertility #1 to my list.

Also happy to report for the first time in 9 months my cycle is back to 28 days!  Hopeful, I used the last of my test strips in September to see if it would read any LH.  It didnt.  But I'm ok with that, I know its still a work in progress. 

Tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary.  We're celebrating with a weekend trip to Santa Barbara.  I want to reflect on my blessings in life.  I have a great loving and supportive husband.